


Mistakes are what makes us human

by stupidnephlim



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Breakup/getting back together, Eavesdropping, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fashion Designer Magnus, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurities, Jealousy, Josh is actually nice, Lies, M/M, Manipulation, Minor death, Regrets, Scott is a Prick, Writer Alec, mentions of drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 03:14:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 25,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11282628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidnephlim/pseuds/stupidnephlim
Summary: Alec and Magnus were roommates and started to date, but broke up because Magnus couldn't make time for Alec.Now they are forced to share the same apartment they have always shared, except it's much more harder and awkward to live with your ex.





	1. Alone

To say Alec was having a bad day was an understatement. His editor was demanding new updates on his latest chapters for his latest book, which he couldn't provide as he was currently having writers block. On top of that, as he walked ho – well the apartment, (since it wasn't home. Not anymore) it started to rain. Which meant he was currently in the lift of his building, drenched and shivering causing him to be on the receiving end of some odd looks from people on his way up, which didn't help dampen his mood. At all.

The lift doors opened with a ping, causing him to flinch slightly, which then caused him to chuckle at his own actions before he walked towards his door. He took out his keys and placed them in the key hole but before turning the key and unlocking the door, he took some deep breaths and gave himself the pep talk he always gave when ever he was about to enter the apartment. _I can do this. Just run to your bedroom. You don't even need to say hi to him._ After a couple more deep breaths, he felt like he was somewhat ready, so he twisted the key and braced himself for what – or rather who was waiting inside.

Magnus.

The most beautiful human being Alec had ever laid eyes upon aka his ex, which also happened to be his roommate, sat on the sofa watching one of his shows that he loved. He was currently in the arms of his on again/off again boyfriend, Scott.

It hurt. Of course it did. It hurt like this everyday. To see Magnus, his ex of barely five months, in the arms of someone who wasn't him. It hurt even more to think about why they broke up in the first place, but Alec didn't want to think about that right now.  
He ignored Magnus and Scott like he always did and ran to his bedroom, where he took some dry clothes out and then walked into his ensuite to shower. The warmth of the water relaxed his tense muscles, and Alec let out a sigh of relief. He wasn't big on staying in the shower for too long, so after washing his hair and body, he got out and wrapped himself around with a towel, before changing into a pair of sweats and a tank top. It was then that Alec realised he was starving, which made sense as he had only eaten a blueberry muffin for breakfast – 10 hours ago.

He walked out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen, on his way he heard the noise from the tv and soft mummers coming from the two people currently watching said tv. He took out the left over pasta from the fridge (which was only a day old) and placed it inside the microwave to heat it up.

_“Come on Mags. I'm going to end up burning this if you don't stop that.” Alec said half heartedly, moving his neck further and giving Magnus more access to his neck for him to leave soft butterfly kisses. “Don't care.” Magnus mumbled. To which Alec rolled his eyes.  
“If I burn the pasta, then you won't have anything to eat.” Alec pointed out. And Magnus chuckled, before replying. “Hmm… I rather eat you.”_

Alec was forced back to the present as the microwave was making a beeping noise, to alert Alec that it was done heating. As he took out the food, he was momentarily startled by someone clearing their throat behind him. He closed his eyes and calmed himself down before turning around to see Scott standing in the entrance of the kitchen door. He smiled a small, forced, smile at Scott before grabbing a glass of water and a fork, along with his plate of pasta before walking out of the kitchen.

But before he could go back to the safety of his room, he was stopped by Scott. “So Alec, how is work?” He asked conversationally. Alec was pretty sure he was about to have a heart attack, as to how fast his heart was currently beating. He hated the small talk. He hated the awkward encounters. He knew that Scott hated him, and the feelings were mutual, so Magnus probably made him talk to Alec.

But as him and Magnus decided that they were ‘mature’ enough for Alec to not move out after their breakup, (since Alec and Magnus were just roommates before they started to date, and it wouldn't be polite to ask Alec to move out after their breakup) Alec had to bare the pain of the small talk and awkward encounters. “Erm… Work is good.” Alec replied and stepped away from Scott, to resume his journey to his room. He quickly sneaked a peak at Magnus who was sat on the sofa, pretending to watch tv, but Alec knew him well enough to see his head was slightly turned towards the kitchen which showed he was listening to their small and awkward encounter.

Alec successfully made it to his room, where he sat and ate whilst watching Netflix on his laptop.

Alone.

It was always like this. Had been for the past seven months, that's counting the time when he and Magnus _were_ together.  
Exhausted from the days events he set the now empty plate of pasta on his bed side table, turned off his laptop and got into bed to sleep. He had barley hit the pillow for a few seconds before sleep consumed him and took him to the land of dreams.


	2. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWO UPDATES IN ONE DAY???  
> Yeah this is my first and prolly my last time I update twice in one day. It's just because I already had the first two chapters written and ready to post.  
> Working on the third. ;)

“Come on Alec! It's your birthday! You have you go out and have fun once in a while.” Izzy exclaimed. Alec just rolled his eyes. Izzy had invited herself over for breakfast, so now they were sat in the kitchen’s breakfast bar, eating the waffles Alec had made. “Izzy. I have told you time and time again. I don't want to go out. That isn't my kind of fun.” Alec replied. He knew his sister was only trying to help him get over his breakup with Magnus. But her ways weren't exactly helping. “Alec. You haven't been yourself since… since your breakup with Magnus.” Izzy gently placed a hand on Alec’s bicep, in a comforting manner, and Alec gave her a wobbly smile. “I'm sorry Iz.” He whispered.

  
“Look. How about this? We will go to the club Pandemonium, and we will have one drink. If you are not enjoying your self and want to go home then I will come with you and we will binge watch any show of your choosing. Please big brother? One drink.” Izzy looked Alec in his eyes, with her best puppy dog expressions and Alec couldn't help but give in. He rolled his eyes and huffed before replying. “Fine. But one drink!” Izzy nodded her head, before squealing and kissing Alec on the cheek.

***

Magnus woke to a squealing sound from the kitchen, and he only knew one person who could make that sound. Isabelle. He got out of bed and slowly, and sleepily, walked to the kitchen, where he heard Alec’s voice along with his sisters. “-find a man,” Izzy was saying. Magnus walked into the kitchen to find the Lightwood siblings eating waffles and Alec rolling his eyes at his sister fondly. “Who is going to find a man?” Magnus asked, and once Alec saw Magnus, his small smile dropped and his eyes grew cold. Magnus swallowed.

He didn't like how Alec was around him and Magnus knew it was his own fault, and that Alec was hurting. “Alec.” Izzy replied. “We are going out tonight for his birthday, and it's time for Alec to get with some one who finds time for him. Don't you think?” Isabelle looked at Magnus, with the most innocent look on her face, but her words were laced with anger. Magnus was about to reply and say something – anything, to make the awkward silence that had settled over them to go away, when Alec spoke up.

“Izzy. Stop, Magnus doesn't deserve your rudeness.” Alec briefly glanced at Magnus and gave a small smile at Izzy before getting up and walking away to his room, with Izzy behind him.

Magnus’s heart stuttered. Ever since the breakup, Alec had been nothing but kind to Magnus. Magnus wanted to yell at Alec for being so kind, as he didn't deserve Alec’s kindness. Alec had been wrong. He did deserve Izzy’s rudeness, he deserved to suffer in pain, but instead it was Alec who was suffering.

  
“ _Alec. I think we should talk.” Magnus walked into the living room, where Alec was sat, working on his new chapter. Alec closed his laptop and looked at Magnus, giving him his undivided attention. “What is it?” He asked. Alec tried to catch Magnus’s eye, but Magnus couldn't bring himself to look Alec in the eye. “Look Alec, you have been amazing and I really really like you but I think we need… I think we need a break.” Alec’s eyes widened and his eyes filled with hurt.  
“What?” He croaked out, as his throat suddenly felt really dry. “Your… your breaking up with me?” Magnus nodded and Alec’s eyes filled with tears. “But… but why? What have I done?” His voice sounded small and vulnerable, and Magnus hated himself for making Alec sound like that. “You have done nothing it just...I just… I don't have time to be with anyone right now.” Magnus replied and Alec nodded his head and wiped his tears away. He looked at Magnus, with his heartbroken expression for a little more than a second, before getting up and walking out of the main door_.

“Magnus! Where are you?” Cat’s voice came through the apartment, breaking Magnus out of his thoughts of the past. He walked out of the kitchen and plastered on his best fake smile. “Cat! Hey!” He greeted, and pulled her in for a hug.

“So, are we still on for lunch?” She asked and Magnus nodded.

“Yup, me you and Ragnor and Scott.”  
“Wait. Scott is coming?” Cat’s facial expressions changed from happy to see Magnus to utter disgust at the mention of Scott’s name. “Why?”  
“Because I thought it would be nice for you guys to bond.” Magnus said, and shrugged his shoulders. He walked to the sofa, where Chairman Meow was curled up, and picked him up. “Magnus, you and I both know we don't get along.” She said, and sat down next to Magnus.  
Magnus rolled his eyes, before replying. “Honestly. He is my boyfriend! You have to get along.”  
“Your boyfriend? For how long this time?” Cat asked, and Magnus’s eyes widened. It was true, Magnus’s and Scott’s relationship wasn't always a permanent thing. “Whatever. It's too early for me to argue about this.” Magnus replied and Cat rolled her eyes, at her best friend.  
“Okay so what are we doing for breakfast?” Cat asked, decided to let the whole Scott thing go. For now. Magnus’s scowl brightened and he clapped his hand eagerly.  
“Let's get pancakes from Takis.” He suggested and Cat nodded before being dragged into Magnus’s room for Magnus to change.

***

The apartment was empty. Magnus had gone out to eat with Cat, and Izzy had left as she had a class to get to. So it was just Alec. And Chairman Meow. Alec sighed to himself and wandered around the apartment. Izzy had promised to come back later to go shopping with him, which he was dreading. Shopping with Izzy always consisted of Alec being dragged around by his little sister.

“What shall we do Chairman?” Alec asked the cat, who just blinked up at him. Alec sighed before deciding to do some chores around the house. He was taking a break from his writing, as it was all getting too much.

Alec was in the middle of washing the dishes when his phone buzzed. After drying his hands, he swiped to unlock his phone to see a message from his mother. They had made plans to go out to eat for Alec, the next day. Alec barley saw his parents. Ever since he came out to them, things had been distant.

 **Can’t** **make it to dinner tomorrow. – mum**

Alec sighed, as he read the message. He wasn't really surprised. His parents stopped making time for him a long time ago. It hurt. But Alec had slowly learnt that it wasn't his fault. He placed his phone on the counter and proceeded to wash the dishes.

He was almost done, when he heard voice enter the apartment. “Why don't we just order take out? I don't know about you but I'm too tired to go out anywhere.” Ragnor’s voice carried out. Alec heard Magnus chuckle. “That's because you're getting old.”  
Alec smiled to himself. He always loved Magnus’s and Ragnor’s banter. It was very amusing. “That may be, but at least I don't make stupid decisions in life.” Ragnor replied.  
“And what stupid decision have I made?” Magnus asked.  
“Well… first of… Letting Alec go.” Hearing his own name, made Alec’s heartbeat increase, he gripped the counter, to steady himself. “And second… for thinking that Cat and I would get along with Scott.” Alec’s blood ran cold at the mention of Scott’s name.

 _Alec was awoken by a thud sound. It was late, so he climbed out of bed and walked out to the hallway. Magnus hadn't come home yet and Alec was worried. It had been three months since their breakup, but that didn't  stop him from worrying about his ex boyfriend. His worries were in vain, as he saw Magnus in a deep lip lock with another guy. Magnus was pushed up against the wall, with his arms around the stranger. They were both stumbling and trying to walk whilst kissing, but they were both failing. In that moment, it was as if everything was moving in slow motion. Alec felt his heart throb in his chest painfully. Magnus’s voice rang in his mind from when he broke up with him. ‘I just don't have time to be with anyone right now’  
You mean you don't have time for me. Alec thought, as he slipped back into his room, and cried himself to sleep_.

“You guys need to learn to accept him. And Alec and I… we were…” Magnus’s voice flowed through the apartment. Alec listened eagerly, to hear what Magnus had to say. But the the doorbell interrupted Magnus from what he was saying.

Alec heard someone shuffle to answer the door, before Scott’s voice greeted Magnus’s friends hello. Alec walked out of the kitchen, and luckily everyone was busy with Scott’s entrance, they didn't see Alec slip out of the kitchen and into his room. Everyone except Scott, who smirked to himself before focusing back on what Magnus was saying.

***

“So Cat, how are your patients.” Scott asked. He casually put an arm around Magnus’s shoulders and looked at Cat, expectingly. Cat smiled sweetly, before replying. “My patients are well.” He answer was short. Too short for Magnus’s liking which made him frown. Things weren't going as how he hoped they would. Magnus was about to speak up and break the awkward silence that had settled over them, when Cat called out Alec’s name. “Hey Alec.”

Everyone turned to see Alec entering the room. He was wearing black skinny jeans with a denim shirt, under a black jacket. _He looks good_. Magnus thought, before mentally slapping himself at his own thoughts. “Hey Cat. Ragnor.” Alec replied. The fact that Alec decided to specify his greeting to only Cat and Ragnor, whilst ignoring Magnus and Scott didn't go unnoticed by Magnus’s friends, who gave each other a look. “Well… look who it is. The clingy ex boyfriend. No wonder Magnus broke up with you. You couldn't even move out after you guys broke up.” Scott’s tone was sweet and gentle, but the meaning behind his words were laced with venom. Alec visibly took a step back and Magnus saw Alec’s hurt expression.

His eyes, slightly filled with tears, and Alec clenched his hands by his side. All Magnus wanted to do was to hug his Alexander – _No he isn't yours anymore. And it's your fault for letting him go_ ’ Magnus's Mind harshly reminded him. 

Instead of replying, Alec smiled weakly at Cat, Ragnor and even Magnus before excusing himself and walking out of the front door. Magnus turned to look at his friends, but his friends were too busy staring angrily at Scott, who was wearing a smug smile.

***

Alec couldn't believe what just happened. Izzy had called him to meet her out side his apartment, and when he stepped out of his room, he hadn't realised that Magnus’s friends would still be there. And when Scott mentioned the breakup, it was just another reminder that Alec couldn't be with Magnus, ever again. _Magnus_ _thought_ _I_ _was_ _clingy_? The question kept running over and over in his mind, because where else would Scott have gotten that idea from, if it wasn't from Magnus.

Alec decided that he had had enough, even though it hurt. So fucking much. To see Magnus move on, it was time Alec did the same _. I will do that tonight, at the club Izzy will take me to_.

***

After the encounter with Alec, Cat and Ragnor also got up to leave, by making up an excuse, that they all know was a lie. Magnus knew that his friends were angry, and frankly he was angry too. He had never said anything to Scott about Alec, let alone about Alec being clingy. Alec wasn't clingy at all. He was warm, and soft, and gentle, and amazing.

After his friends left, Scott smiled at Magnus. “So Mags, what shall we do now?” Magnus cringed at the nickname. Only Alec used to call him that, and Scott using it felt… wrong. “Why did you say all those things to Alec?” Magnus asked, he almost didn't recognise his own voice, as it sounded very cold. Scott noticed too and his eyebrows shot up. “Oh… I was only telling the truth.” He replied and smiled sweetly. “Anyway why do you even care?”  
_Because_ _I still love him. Because I shouldn't have let him go_. Magnus thought. “I don't.” Magnus said aloud.

He hated himself at that moment, but there was nothing he could do about it. Scott’s smile grew and he climbed on top of Magnus, straddling him. “Good.” He whispered seductively, before leaning down and kissing Magnus, who reluctantly kissed him back.

***

After a long and what seemed like an endless trip around the shopping centre, Izzy and Alec finally returned back to Izzy’s dorm room. Alec didn't feel like going back to the apartment, in case Scott and Magnus were still there. He also didn't feel like telling Izzy about what Scott had said. Although she had noticed his mood, but fortunately didn't comment on it, which wasn't like Izzy at all, but Alec was grateful.

By the time they got back, they only had an hour to get dressed, which was fine with Alec. But Izzy on the other hand didn't agree. Izzy’s roommate, Clary, who was dating Jace walked into the room and smiled at Alec. “Hey Alec.”  
“Hey Fray.” Alec replied. Alec liked Clary, even though they didn't have the best relationships at the beginning, Alec now considered her one of his best friends. “Where's Izzy?” She asked, and took out her dress from her wardrobe. Alec pointed towards the bathroom joined to their room and Clary nodded in acknowledgment. Alec sat down on Izzy’s bed, and felt his phone buzz on his pocket. He unlocked his phone to see that he had a message from Magnus.  
They hadn't texted each other since their breakup. Magnus had suggested that they should go back to being friends, and Alec had agreed but even at the time this agreement had happened they both knew that they didn't mean it, as it would hurt too much to be ‘just friends.’

Alec opened the message from Magnus, and felt his heartbeat increase as he read.

 **I’m sorry about what Scott said. I never told him any of those things.  
Ps. Happy birthday x. – Love of my life**.

Alec looked at the name Magnus had saved into Alec’s phone.

 _“What am I named on your phone?” Magnus asked. He threw his legs on top of Alec’s lap, and licked his spoon clean of any chocolate Ice cream. “Your name.” Alec replied, looking Magnus in the eye, wearing a fond look. Magnus gasped dramatically. “But that is so boring!” He exclaimed. And Alec rolled his eyes, before turning his attention back to the movie that was playing. “Give me your phone.” Magnus demanded, and Alec rolled his eyes once again, before handing over his phone. Magnus giggled when he saw the background picture, which was of him sleeping. It was taken right before Magnus had woken up. After changing his name, he smugly handed the phone back to Alec._  
_Alec looked down and smiled at the name change. “Love of my life.” He read out. “Aren't you a little too confident.” Alec teased, and Magnus smirked._  
“ _Yes. I'm positive that I am the love your life.” Magnus replied.  
“Hmmm is that so.” Alec moved Magnus’s legs off of his lap and straddled his thighs. “_ _And am I the love of your life?” Alec whispered seductively and Magnus’s breath caught, as Alec leaned down and captured Magnus’s lips in between his own, not waiting for Magnus’s answer._

“Alec.” Izzy called out.  
“Huh?” Alec cleared his throat before looking up at his sister.  
“I said… which colour suits me best?” She was holding up two dresses. One was red, and the other blue. He looked at them both, and the pointed to the red, to which Izzy nodded her head, in approval.

Alec had convinced himself that he hadn't had the time to change Magnus's name. But a part of him knew that that was a lie. 

***

After the arrival of Jace, they all headed out to the club, Pandemonium. Izzy knew the bouncer stood at the door, so it wasn't hard getting in, and as soon as Alec stepped foot inside the building, loud music met Alec’s ears. He cringed at the volume, before he was dragged by Izzy. They walked over to the bar, and ordered themselves drinks, before taking them over the an empty table, where they all sat down. Clary was sat on Jace’s lap, and Izzy’s boyfriend – Simon, had an arm around Izzy’s shoulders. It was times like these where he hated being single. He loved that his siblings were happy in their relationships, but it also hurt, to see he wasn't. After Alec finished his drink, he stood up and told the others he was going to get another from the bar.

He walked over the the bar and ordered himself a beer, before settling into one of the stools, waiting for his drinks to be made. It was then that Alec realised he hadn't replied to Magnus’s text.  
He was just about to take out his phone, when some one slipped into the stool next to him. Alec looked up and saw a handsome man, who looked in his early twenties, as he had brown hair and brown eyes, which were currently looking at Alec. “Hello.” The man greeted. Alec smiled back, before replying. “Hi.”  
“Are you here alone?” He asked. And Alec shook his head.  
“No. I'm here with my siblings and their partners.”  
“Oh. And you? Do you have a partner?” The man asked, smiling at Alec.  
Alec shook his head, and when he did his hair fell upon his eyes. The man saw the movement of his hair, and slowly reached forward and gently tucked his hair behind Alec’s ear. He smiled a soft smile, to which Alec returned. “I'm Josh.” He introduced.  
“Alec.”  
“Well Alec, would you like to dance?” Alec wasn't much of a dancer, but anything beat sitting there, alone, so Alec nodded and let Josh take his hand and pull him to the dance floor.

***

It was late. And Magnus was worried. He had no right to be. But that didn't stop him. Alec hadn't returned home yet. Rationally he knew that he was out with Izzy, at a club. But he also knew Alec, and Alec hated clubs. And he hadn't replied to his text either, which had slightly hurt. But Magnus knew that Alec was hurting way more than him.

He tried to sleep, but no matter what he did he just couldn't stop his brain from shutting down and let him sleep. It was really frustrating. He took hold of his phone, which was sat on the bed side table, and decided to go through his gallery. Even though it had been four months since their break up, Magnus still hadn't deleted any pictures or videos of them. He couldn't. Not yet.

As Magnus scrolled he came across a picture, that was from so long ago, a picture of when he had first met Alec, from when he had just moved in. In the picture Alec was sat on the sofa, stroking Chairman Meow. At the time Magnus had meant to only take a picture of his cat, but gradually as they became closer, he kept it for a whole other reason.

“ _Hi, you must be Alexander.” Magnus opened the door, and greeted the man with black hair blue eyes. The man smiled at Magnus, before extending his hand in greeting._  
_“Yes. Erm… Alec. Nobody calls me Alexander.” Alec replied. And Magnus chuckled._  
_“Well then. Looks like I will be the first.” Magnus winked at Alec, and Alec ducked his head to hide his blush. “I’m Magnus. Please come in.”_  
_Alec stepped inside and looked around the apartment. “So, I'm guessing Luke told you about my search for a roommate.” Magnus asked and Alec nodded._  
_“Yeah. I just moved here from L.A and I was looking for an apartment. And my brother’s girlfriend’s dad, Luke, recommended me this place._  
_“So you're Jace’s brother.” Magnus stated and Alec nodded._  
_“How do you and Luke know each other?” Alec asked._  
_“Him and Jocelyn adopted me when I was ten years old. So that makes Clary my sister. And I've heard so many times about her boyfriend Jace.” Alec smiled and sat down on one of the sofas. Magnus was just about ask if Alec wanted any thing to drink or to eat, when a fluffy fur ball jumped onto Alec’s lap, starling him for a second. “Hey there.” He smiled down at the cat, who purred when Alec stroked him. “That's Chairman Meow, my cat.”_  
_Alec looked up at Magnus, when he heard the name and Magnus shrugged helplessly. “I was drunk when I named him.” Magnus explained and Alec chuckled before looking down at the cat. Magnus thought that the Chairman looked very cute, so he decided it would be outrageous if he didn't take the picture. Fortunately for Magnus, Alec also happened to be in the picture. And even though he had just met Alec, Magnus had noticed how good looking Alec was, and having a picture of him on his phone wasn't weird… right? Any way it was of the cat. Obviously._

A knock came from the front door, and Magnus groaned as he got up to answer it. He swung open the door, to see Alec. But he wasn't alone. He had his arms around a man, who held him around the waist, keeping him from falling over. “Hey. You must be Magnus, who Alec spoke very highly of.” The man greeted. Magnus felt a pang of guilt rush through him. _Alec spoke highly of me? After everything I've done to him_?  
“Yes. And who are you?” Magnus asked, his voice was cold and the man noticed and his eyebrows shot up in surprise at Magnus’s rudeness. “I’m Josh, a… friend of Alec's and I thought that I should bring him home, since he got really drunk.” Josh smiled and lifted Alec’s head, which was resting on Josh’s shoulder. “Hey, Alexander. You're home now.” He whispered gently. Magnus suddenly felt angry, only Magnus was allowed to call Alec by his full name. Alec lifted his head and smiled at Josh. “I will call you tomorrow.” Josh said, before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Alec’s forehead. Alec nodded and slowly staggered into the apartment. Magnus closed the door, on Josh’s face and tried to help Alec to bed.

It took them about five minutes, for what was a usually two second job, to his room. Magnus slowly took of Alec’s shoes, and removed his jacket. Then he made Alec lie down and pulled the blanket over him. He was just about to leave when he heard Alec’s small voice call out to him.  
“Magnus?”  
“Yes?”  
“Why… why did you stop loving me? I loved you, Still do. But you didn't have time for me. You left me. All alone.” Alec rambled, and Magnus felt his heart break into a million pieces.

Hearing Alec’s small and vulnerable voice made Magnus’s eyes fill with tears. Before Magnus could reply, Alec was already fast asleep, leaving Magnus to his demons.


	3. Rich boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dates.  
> Clubs.  
> Punching?  
> Jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even though I hate that my babies (Alec and Magnus) are fighting, I really like writing this type of angst! *smirks and rubs hands together.*

Alec woke up to two things; a head ache and a message waiting for him on his phone. It was from Josh. For a moment Alec was confused as to who Josh was and why he was texting Alec, but the memories of the previous night hit Alec, and Alec found himself smiling down at his phone, despite his headache.

**Good morning Alec. – Josh**

As he read the message, Alec felt butterflies in his stomach, a feeling he hadn't felt since… Magnus. It felt strange, but Alec had decided to move on so that's exactly what he would try to do.  
He got out of bed and walked into his attached bathroom to shower, since he was all sweaty from the dancing from last night. As the cool water cleared out some of his foggy mind, he remembered Magnus putting him to bed, he remembered that he had said _something_. But Alec couldn't seem to remember what that _something_ was, exactly. So he decided to let it go.  
He quickly showered, and felt his headache lessen, which he was grateful for, and after slipping into new clothes he walked out of his room and into the kitchen to make himself coffee. A few minutes later, Magnus stumbled in, looking adorable with his rumpled hair and morning face. Surprisingly, Alec was in a good, so when Magnus walked in he smiled at Magnus and asked him if he wanted a cup of coffee. Magnus gave him a funny look before nodding.

They settled down, and dug into their breakfasts, in comfortable silence. Alec couldn't remember the last time they had had a meal together, since they were both hellbent on avoiding each other. “So erm… Last night.” Alec broke the silence and looked up from his plate, and at Magnus. Magnus’s face turned from neutral to a panicked look, which left Alec confused. “I can't remember if I said anything to you… Did I?… did I say something to you before falling asleep?”  
Magnus opened his mouth a couple of times before closing it again and again. “I – I… you… no you didn't say anything.” Magnus finally stuttered out. Alec raised one eyebrow in question of Magnus’s strange behaviour, and in return Magnus gave him a wobbly smile. “Okay.” Alec replied, deciding to let it go.

***

Magnus didn't exactly know why he lied to Alec. It was kind of overwhelming to process what Alec had said. But he realised he had to make it right. Because he did still love Alec. How could he stop? The reason why Magnus had suggested for Alec to stay after their breakup was because _he_ couldn't bare to let Alec go completely out of his life. Scott had been wrong when he said that Alec was the one who didn't want to let go.

It was Magnus.

After breakfast, Alec left to go meet up with his editor and Magnus decided to work on his designs. He had his own clothing line, which he was very proud of and his clothes were getting a lot of attention so he was slowly working his way up.

 _“Alec! Alec!” Magnus shouted, excitedly into the phone._  
“ _Yeah?” Alec chuckled._  
“ _Alec I did it! The Clave decided to support my clothing line!”_  
_Alec laughed through the phone. “I knew they would! Your work is amazing!”_  
_Magnus felt butterflies in his stomach. Ever since he had told Alec he had a meeting with one of the most popular fashion industries; The Clave. Alec had been nothing but encouraging and his faith in him was what kept Magnus going. “Thanks… wow!” Magnus replied, feeling overwhelmed._  
“ _Hey! I know the perfect way to celebrate!” Alec’s voice travelled through the phone. Magnus smirked. “Does it involve us in bed, getting hot and messy?”_  
“ _N-no. I… I was going to suggest pizza and movies, but t-that works… too.” Upon hearing Alec’s stuttering reply, Magnus chuckled. He was certain the boy was blushing on the other end of the phone._  
Magnus was pulled out of his thoughts of the past, by the shrill noise of his ringtone. He reached for it and saw it was Scott. Magnus rolled his eyes before picking up the call. “Hey Scott.”  
“Magnus. What do you say about dancing at Pandemonium tonight?” Scott asked. Magnus didn't really feel like going out, he was still in a weird mood after what Alec had said. He really just wanted to curl up with Chairman Meow, and watch shitty tv. “Scott I really do-“

“Come on Mags! Please?” Scott interrupted and Magnus cringed at the nickname. “It will be fun!” Magnus sighed and reluctantly nodded before answering. “Fine.”

***

Alec and Josh had been texting each other all day, and Alec would be lying if he said it didn't feel good. It felt great. And he hadn't even thought of Magnus. Not even once.  
After meeting with his editor, he was walking over to Jace’s coffee shop, Java Jace. He walked into the little café, and smiled at Clary – who worked with Jace at the café. “Hey Alec.” She greeted and Alec waved back.

“Hey Clary. Where's Jace?”  
“He is in the kitchen.” She replied, and Alec nodded before heading towards the kitchen. Jace was his childhood friend. They had grown up together, he was practically Alec’s brother. Actually he _was_ Alec’s brother. In every way that mattered. Alec saw Jace mixing something in a bowl, his eyebrows scrunched up in concentration. Alec cleared his throat and Jace looked up and smiled. “Alec! Hey.”  
Alec stepped forward and smiled at his brother. “Hey, I thought maybe we could grab lunch? At Takis?”  
“Yeah. Just hold up.” He replied. Jace wiped his hands clean and took off his apron. They both walked out of the kitchen. “Hey Clary, Alec and I are heading out for a late lunch.” Clary nodded. The café wasn't that busy so she could manage on her own.

They both walked to Takis, and sat down to order their food. “So… last night.” Jace started, wiggling his eyebrows. Alec raised his eyebrows in question.  
“What?”  
“I saw you leave with that guy.” Jace stated, smirking. And Alec rolled his eyes.  
“Oh that. That was nothing. He just dropped me home.” Alec replied, shrugging his shoulders. “I don't even remember most of our ride home.”  
“So he was actually a gentleman?” Jace asked, and Alec nodded.  
“Yeah. And we exchanged numbers before I decided to get hammered, so we have been texting since then.” Jace raised his eyebrows.  
“And…” he pushed, and Alec shrugged.  
“And… nothing. It's just texting, not a big deal.”  
“Uh huh.” Jace replied, not believing a word.  
Their conversation drifted from Alec’s love life to Izzy and Max. They were talking about Max’s return from boarding school when the door of the takeaway opened. Alec looked up and met eyes with non other than the gentleman who had helped him last night.

Josh.

His eyes met Alec’s and he smiled warmly. Behind him was a woman, who looked about Izzy’s age. Alec returned the smile, and once Jace saw Alec’s attention was somewhere else, he followed his gaze until it landed on Josh.  
Josh walked towards their table, with the girl behind him. “Hey Alec!” He greeted and Alec smiled at him. “Hey Josh.” Alec replied. They just simply stared at the other, forgetting the other people in the room until someone cleared their throat. Breaking both Alec and Josh out of their daze. Alec blushed and looked down at his hands, and Josh gave a nervous chuckle. “Erm… Jace. This is Josh, the guy I met last night. Josh this is my brother Jace.” Alec introduced, still blushing.  
Jace smiled at Josh, who smiled back. “So you’re _the_ Josh.” Josh raised his eyebrows. “Alec couldn't stop talking about you all d-“ Jace was cut off by Alec, who kicked him under the table. _Hard_. Jace flinched and glared at Alec, who smiled awkwardly at Josh.

Josh gave a soft chuckle. He opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by a nudge. He looked at the girl stood next to him. “Alec, Jace, this is my little sister. Emily.” Alec smiled at Emily who smiled back. “Alec, so I was going to call you to ask you something.” Alec raised his eyebrows in question.  
“Would you like to go to Pandemonium tonight with me?” Josh asked, and Alec smiled a small smile.  
“Erm… Y-yeah. I would love too.” He replied. And Josh nodded before being dragged by his sister to order their take out. Alec turned to look at Jace, who had his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips. “What?” Alec asked.  
“You. Alec Lightwood, my brother, who hates clubs with passion. Just agreed to go without putting up a fight… Wow. I never thought I would see the day.” Jace leaned back in his seat. Alec just rolled his eyes, at his brother's dramatics. “I don't _hate_ clubs. I just prefer to stay at home with a good book. And since I rather be anywhere than be at the apartment, a club sounds like heaven.” Jace’s smirk turned sympathetic. “Look Alec, all teasing aside. I am happy you are moving on. It's about time you did things for you.” Alec smiled at his brother.  
“Thanks Jace.”

***

After putting some finishing touches on his latest menswear, Magnus jumped in the shower to wash up before he had to meet up with Scott. He was just stepping out of the shower when Alec walked in, holding a phone to his ear. “Izzy. Calm down. It's just one date. Not a big deal.” He heard Alec say. A pang of jealousy shot through Magnus. “I didn't call you to hear your girly screams. I called you to help me decide what to wear!” Alec said into the phone. Magnus hadn't realised he was staring at Alec, with wide eyes, until Alec’s eyes fell upon him. He raised his eyebrows in question, as to why Magnus was just stood there, with a towel around his waist. “Okay okay. Iz. Just get yourself over here, before I change my mind about asking you in the first place.” Alec chuckled at something Izzy said, before ending the call. He looked up from his phone and at Magnus. “You okay there?” Alec asked, slowly.  
It was then that Magnus realised he probably looked like a freak just standing there, half naked. “Yeah. I-I'm fine.” Alec just nodded at Magnus’s answer. He walked past him and towards his room. “Wait.” Magnus called, and Alec turned to look at him. “Y-you have a date?”  
Alec smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I do.” Magnus nodded, trying to process this information.  
“Who with?”  
“Josh. The guy that dropped me off last night.” Alec bit his bottom lip, and his eyes shined with excitement. Magnus suddenly felt bitter at the mention of Josh’s name. “Right.” Magnus replied, quietly. Alec noticed Magnus’s sad expression, and his face turned from happy to worry. “You okay?” He asked. Magnus nodded, not trusting his voice at the moment.

Alec searched his face, for a few more seconds, before nodding and walking away to his room. It hurt to see Alec not pushing to know why he was upset. He always knew when Magnus was trying to put on a fake smile. He always knew when Magnus was hurting. _Do you still expect him to care how you feel? After what you did to him?_ A voice in his mind – which weirdly sounded like Scott – reminded him.  
Magnus pushed his feelings aside and proceeded to get ready for his date with Scott.

***

Alec’s heart was hammering in his chest, when he saw a half naked Magnus. Alec didn't really want to rub it in his face about his date but he had to admit it did feel good. After telling Izzy -who had come to the apartment to help Alec with his clothes – Izzy agreed that Magnus had no right to feel upset about Alec dating. “Alec. You shouldn't feel guilty. Not when he has brushed you aside, and been flaunting around with Scott right in front of your eyes. It's time you found some happiness.” Alec nodded and tried to push all thoughts of his ex, out of his head.  
He smiled at Izzy. “You’re right.”  
Izzy beamed. “Of course I am.” Alec rolled his eyes. “Now go and try these jeans on, with this top.” She ushered Alec into his attached bathroom.

***

Magnus had been waiting for Scott for over 30 minutes. He was sat, alone, in Pandemonium, in one of the booths and was contemplating if he should ring Scott and ask him about his whereabouts. He was just about to dial his number when he saw the last person he expected to see.

Alec.

He looked beautiful. He wore dark black skinny jeans, with grey shirt under a black jacket. His tall, dark and handsome look never failed him in looking incredibly sexy. Magnus was too busy checking Alec out to notice he wasn't here alone. Beside him was Josh. They were holding hands, and Josh leaned closer to Alec and said something to which Alec threw his head back and laughed. Magnus felt bile rise in his throat. He tried to look away. But he just couldn't. Alec looked so happy.

“Magnus!” Magnus turned his head and saw Cat and Ragnor walking towards him. “We didn't know you would be here.” Cat said. Magnus stood up and hugged her.  
“Yeah. Scott asked me out, but he isn't here yet.” Cat’s face scrunched up at the mention of Scott’s name. “Hey Ragnor.” Magnus greeted, and Ragnor replied with a nod.  
“So Scott stood you up.” Cat stated.  
“Well… he could come in any minute.” Magnus reasoned. And cat just gave him the ‘stop bullshitting me and yourself’ look. Magnus sighed, and slumped back into his seat. “Fine. I got stood up.” Cat sat beside him, and patted his shoulder gently. Ragnor sat opposite them, and huffed. “Why are you with that guy?” He asked. Magnus was about to reply. He was about to tell Ragnor that Scott could be fun, when they were alone. That he was funny. But something caught his attention, or rather who.

Alec.

Josh was pulling him towards the dance floor. With their hands interlaced. Magnus’s felt himself stiffen and his eyes grew cold, as he stared at the duo with hate laced in his eyes. Both Cat and Ragnor felt his mood change, and when they followed his gaze to see Alec, Cat gave Magnus a sympathetic look whilst Ragnor just snorted. “You didn't expect him to wait for you?” Ragnor asked. Magnus felt his heart thud in his chest, painfully. “Ragnor!” Cat chastised.  
“What? I'm just telling the truth. You broke his heart. And now that he is finally moving on, you don't have a right to be jealous about it.” Magnus knew it was the truth, and frankly he needed this, he needed to be told the truth, but it still hurt. “Ragnor stop s-“  
“No cat! I won't lie to him. He needs to hear this.” Ragnor interrupted. Cat sighed and nodded, agreeing with her friend. “Look I know what I did. You think I don't know how much Alec was hurting? But-“  
“But what?” Cat asked. And Magnus let out a deep breath.  
“Your right. He deserves some one better than me.” Magnus replied and Cat gave Ragnor a look.  
“Magnus. Tell me the real reason why you broke up with him.” She said, and Magnus looked away from Alec and at her. “I already did. Remember, I didn't have time for a relationship at the time.” Cat rolled her eyes.  
“No that is the lie you told us and Alec. What is the real reason?” She asked again. And Magnus’s eyes widened. “H-how do you know that that wasn't the reason?” Magnus stammered.  
And Cat just gave him a sympathetic look. “Sweetie, I have known you since we were kids. I know when you're lying. And also if that was the reason then you wouldn't be getting jealous right now.” Magnus sighed before nodding slowly.

“Fine. It was his mo-“

“Magnus!”

At the sound of his own name being called, Magnus turned to see Scott walking towards them. Magnus mentally groaned. “You brought your friends.” Scott pointed out, when he saw Cat and Ragnor. Cat glared at Scott, and if looks could kill Scott would be dead by now. “We were just passing, when we happened to come across Magnus, who was sat waiting for you, alone.” Cat replied for Magnus through gritted teeth. Scott rolled his eyes, before answering. “I was running late. It's not a big deal.” Cat snorted and crossed her arms across her chest, before leaning back in her chair. Magnus was about to speak up, tell them all that he was fine. But just as he opened his mouth to speak –  
“Scott, darling.” A voice interrupted them. Magnus turned his attention toward the newcomer, to see a young girl who looked about in her early twenties. She was short with long pink hair and brown eyes. She placed her hand on Scott’s shoulder. “Come on baby, let's go dance.” She said, attempting to sound seductive, but to Magnus she sounded pathetic.

Magnus felt anger rush through him. “Whose this?” He asked Scott. _No. Scott isn't like that. No. I refuse to believe he is like that._ Magnus thought over and over in his head. _He wouldn't cheat. He wouldn't cheat on m-_  
“She is the reason why I was late. She is _very_ distracting.” Scott purred, and leaned down to kiss the girl, right in front of Magnus. Magnus felt his heart break, sure he wasn't in love with him. But it still hurt to be cheated on. Magnus excused himself and walked away from the scene, before he ended up crying in front of everyone.

He was on his way out, with his head down, when he bumped into a hard chest. He looked up to apologise to the stranger, only to find Alec staring back at him. “Magnus?” He asked. He had drinks in his hand and luckily they hadn't spilt. “Magnus are you okay?” He asked out in a rush, when he saw the look on Magnus’s face. Magnus felt his eyes fill with tears and all he wanted to do was hug Alec and never let go.

But he couldn't. Not when _her_ voice kept ringing in his mind, whenever he thought about telling Alec the truth. Magnus nodded and kept on walking, except he didn't get far as he was pulled back by Alec. “Hey Mags… tell me, what's wrong?” He asked. His voice gentle and soothing. Magnus felt heart contract painfully in his chest and hearing the nickname. “Nothing Alec. I am fine. You go back to your _date_.” He didn't mean for his voice to sound so cold, and when Alec’s eyes lost their warmth and grew cold, as he set his jaw and swallowed before nodding and stepping back Magnus instantly missed his warmth, and silently begged him to come back, but Alec just looked at him for a few more seconds before walking away.  
Magnus couldn't take it being in the club anymore, so he ran out and took a taxi home.

***

Alec’s date with Josh had been going very well. Josh was really interesting and funny. He told Alec that he was a journalist and that he was the oldest child of three siblings. They had exchanged stories whilst they were here, before Josh pulled him to dance with him for a while. Surprisingly he actually enjoyed the dancing, and offered to go get drinks for them after they were done dancing.

Only to bump into Magnus who looked like he was on the verge of tears. Alec pushed his own feelings aside and asked Magnus what was wrong, but when he received Magnus’s cold answer, he knew Magnus wouldn't tell him so Alec decided to let it go. After all he had no right to interrupt in Magnus’s business. Not anymore.

He was on his way back to the booth where Josh was sat waiting, when he saw Ragnor and Cat talking to someone who had his back to him. Cat and Ragnor both had scowls on their faces as they addressed the man stood in front of them. Alec walked towards them, and as he came closer he realised that the man, he couldn't see, was Scott. “Cat what's going on?” Alec asked, as he approached Magnus’s friends. Cat spun around to see Alec, she was surprised for a second before giving a small forced smile. She was about to reply, when Scott spoke up. “Look it’s the clingy ex boyfriend. Haven't you got the hint yet? Magnus doesn't want you. I will be surprised if anyone wants you. You're just a piece of trash that doesn't belong any-“

He was abruptly cut off by someone punching him in the face. Scott fell to the ground and howled in pain. Alec, Cat and Ragnor all turned to look at the attacker only to see the last person Alec thought would do such a thing like punching a guy.

Josh.

“Josh? Why did you do that? Is your hand okay?” Alec rushed out. He took Josh’s hand in his to take a look at the swollen skin. “I couldn't let him talk to you like that,” Josh replied, smiling sheepishly at Alec, his dimple on his right cheek, popping up as he did. Alec’s eyes widened at Josh’s answer and found it hard to find an answer. Luckily Ragnor and Cat weren't having the same problem. “Thank you, he deserved that punch.” Cat said, and Josh smiled and nodded.

“I'm Cat.” She introduced herself before pointing to Ragnor. “That's Ragnor.” Ragnor just nodded at Josh who smiled back. “I'm Josh.” Josh extended his hand out (the one that wasn't wounded) for Cat to shake, and Cat leaned forward to accept the handshake. Josh turned to look back at Alec. “You were gone too long, and I started to wonder and saw you here.” Josh answered the answer the question Alec’s gaze. Alec nodded in understanding. 

As they talked, Scott stood up, his left eye visibly bruising. “I will sue you! How dare you punch me?” He shouted. Ragnor rolled his eyes. “Oh please. No one will believe you. And  frankly no one cares about a rich boy getting beaten, trust me I know.”

Cat smirked and saw Scott huff before walking away. Ragnor was a lawyer and he could be scary when he needed to be, to which Cat smiled and her friend's actions. The girl who was standing next to Scott followed after him.  
“Well… I think it's time we head home.” Cat said, and everyone nodded. They all had had enough excitement for one day. Cat and Ragnor said their goodbyes to Josh and Alec and parted ways. “Come on I will walk you home.” Josh offered and Alec nodded.

The walk home was nice, it had gotten dark, but the weather was light and breezy, so they both just walked around the city, hand in hand, before taking the route to Alec’s building.  
Once arriving, Josh walked Alec up to his door and they both smiled at each other. “So I had fun tonight, despite… everything.” Josh spoke up, and Alec chuckled before nodding. “Me too.” They both leaned forward and softly met in the middle in a soft kiss.

They simply stood there, kissing softly before pulling away to breath. Alec smiled at Josh. “I Would love to do this again.” He whispered and Josh nodded, before stepping back. "Me too." 

Josh walked backward in the direction of the lift, all the while smiling.   
“Goodnight Alec.”  
“Goodnight,” Alec replied. Before unlocking the front door and stepping inside. He walked past Magnus’s bedroom and could see, from the little gap underneath his bedroom door, that his bedroom light was off so Alec assumed Magnus was asleep. Alec walked into his own room and after changing into his night clothes fell into bed and sleep came easy.

***

Magnus heard Alec’s footsteps as he walked to his room, he heard Alec’s footsteps pause right in front of his door and for a second Magnus thought Alec would come inside, but that thought soon died, as Alec carried on walking towards his own room.

Magnus didn't know what to do. He felt so lost. His friends didn't understand. Alec hated him. And Scott had grown bored of him. Magnus turned onto his side, and let the tears fall from his eyes. Something he hadn't allowed himself to do ever since he had cried himself to sleep after he broke up with Alec.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
> So... are your opinions on Magnus changing? Or not?   
> Is Magnus to blame???


	4. I do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a filler chapter really. But still has some feels in it!!

It had been a few weeks, since the whole ‘Scott incident’ -as everyone was calling it. Magnus had learned from Cat and Ragnor, about the punch Scott had received from Josh, and Magnus felt his annoyance towards Josh lessen. He had realised in the few times he had seen Josh at the apartment that he actually _was_ a good guy and hating him for no reason was something Magnus didn't do. So he decided to be mature about the whole Alec dating Josh thing.

After Magnus had left Pandemonium that night, Magnus couldn't get what Ragnor had said out of his head. He was right. Magnus had to stop being jealous as it wasn't fair on Alec. Not when Magnus had been flaunting his relationship with Scott in Alec’s face. Who Magnus had broken up with after he came knocking on the apartment door asking for forgiveness.  
Magnus actually couldn't help but laugh in his face. “You actually think I am going to take you back? After you cheat on me. Then kiss the girl right in front of my face? How low do you think I am?” Magnus scoffed and shut the door in Scott’s face, before he could reply.  
Magnus had felt, oddly, peaceful after he slammed the door in Scott’s face. He had just continued his morning like normal.

***

Things had been quiet with Magnus. Quiet meaning that since the night at Pandemonium, Alec rarely saw Magnus. He would come home late and leave early. Alec wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. But every time Alec wondered where Magnus was, he would quickly brush the thoughts aside, trying not to dwell on Magnus for too long.

Alec was getting ready for a dinner that he had planned with his family. It was Izzy’s birthday and his parents had decided to go out to eat with the whole family. Alec couldn't help but feel a little bitter. On his birthday his parents had cancelled and didn't even wish him happy birthday. Alec sighed as he slipped into his jacket. He grabbed his keys, wallet and phone before exiting the apartment. He wasn't really looking forward to this dinner. These ‘family dinners’ were rare in the Lightwood family, as the Lightwood children weren't that close with their parents. But Alec still wanted to put some effort into making Izzy’s birthday memorable, in a good way.

He made his way to the restaurant, and once he arrived he saw that his parents and Max were already sat and waiting. He walked towards them and when Max saw him, he stood up and ran to Alec. “Alec!” He exclaimed, and hugged him with a force that an 12 year old shouldn't posses. Alec almost stumbled back, but caught himself and smiled down at his brother. Max had been away at his boarding school but he finally had holidays for two weeks. “Hey buddy!” Alec leaned down and wiggled his hand in Max’s hair, making him squirm. “Alexander.” Came a stern voice.

Alec looked away from Max, to see his parents sat waiting for Alec to sit down. Alec resisted the urge to roll his eyes, and smiled at Max before sitting down. Max joining him. Alec sat opposite from his parents, who were looking at him with series expressions. Alec felt like he was at a business meeting, instead of being at dinner with his family. His phone buzzed and he took it out from his pocket.

**Save me. Being attacked by little people right now. – Josh**

Alec looked at the picture attached to the messaged and saw Josh pouting whilst his youngest sister, Sarah -who was five, and another young girl standing next to Josh, putting clips in his hair and glitter on his eyelids. Alec recognised the other girl as Sarah’s friend from the time Josh and Alec had picked up Sarah from school. Alec couldn't help but laugh out loud at Josh’s face. Forgetting for the moment that he was with his parents.

**I’m not sure I want to save you right now. You make a cute princess. – Alec**

**Well then you're not very good at being my knight in shining armour. – Josh**

“Alexander can you stop texting, we are at dinner.” Maryse spoke up. Alec looked up from his phone and at his mother. “We haven't even started yet as Jace and Izzy are not here.” He replied.  
“Is that your boyfriend?” Max asked, and Alec blushed but nodded.  
“You have a boyfriend? Since when? Is it that Magnus boy?” His mother questioned. And Alec stiffened at the mention of Magnus’s name. “Erm… no. Magnus and I broke up. And mine and Josh’s relationship is very… new.” Alec explained. He saw Maryse nod and Alec saw how her shoulders lose some of their tension, when Alec said that he wasn't dating Magnus. Which Alec found odd. “Well… we must meet this… Josh.” Maryse said. And Alec raised his eyebrows.  
“Er… sure.” Alec lied. He didn't want Josh to be scared off by his mother, so early in their relationship. Maryse nodded, satisfied by Alec’s answer.  
Luckily, Jace and Isabelle walked in and saved Alec from any further awkward talk with his parents.  
“Hey Alec. Max.” Izzy greeted her brothers. She nodded at her parents in greeting and sat down. Jace following suit. The waiter arrived and took their orders down before walking away. “So Isabelle, since it is your birthday we want to give you a gift.” Robert spoke up. Izzy smiled at her dad, and Alec felt a burst of happiness for his sister, since she had always been close to their father. “What is it?” She asked.

“Well since you have always wanted to go to Paris, we bought you tickets to go there this summer. There is one for Jace and Max too.” Robert told Izzy. Izzy squealed and thanked their parents. Before halting. “Wait… what about Alec?” She asked.  
Alec had been too busy being happy for his sister to realise that his parents hadn't gotten a ticket for him. Alec looked at their parents in confusion. Izzy and Jace sharing the same expression as they too looked at their parents, waiting for an answer. “Don't be silly. Alec can't go to France with you.” Maryse scoffed.  
“Why not?” Jace asked.  
“Because he has his deadlines for his book to meet.” Maryse said, casually. It was true, he did have deadlines to meet. But that still didn't make a good enough reason to not get tickets for him at all. Alec looked from his mother to father and something just _clicked_. They had left him out on purpose. And they were trying to use his job as an excuse.

“So? We are going in the summer. The summer isn't here yet. Alec will have finished his book by then.” Izzy argued. Alec smiled at her and she returned it.  
“Alexander will stay here, and won't go with you. End of.” Maryse replied. Everyone was taken aback by her cold commanding tone. Alec suddenly felt numb. And exhausted. Luckily the food arrived at that moment. As soon as the waiter walked away, Izzy opened her mouth to argue with her mother, but Alec interjected. “Izzy. That's fine. I don't want to go to Paris anyway. And yeh I do have a lot to finish so I probably won't be finished by the summer anyway.”  
Izzy searched his face, for hints of disapproval, but Alec kept his face neutral and after a few seconds she sighed and nodded. Everyone grew silent as they ate, every few seconds Maryse would ask Izzy or Jace or Max about how school was going.

She didn't ask Alec. She didn't ask him anything. At all.

***

Magnus was sat in the living room, searching Netflix for something to watch when the door opened and Alec walked in, looking exhausted. Magnus knew that look. It was the look Alec always wore when he had just came back from seeing his parents. Magnus’s hand jerked as he almost got up and pulled Alec into a hug, before his brain caught up with him and reminded him that he couldn't do that anymore. Alec sighed and took off his shoes and jacket before coming to sit down on the sofa.  
The awkward silence was pregnant. But neither did anything to break it. They just sat there. Alec with his hands on knees and head in his hands, and Magnus with crossed legs and remote in one hand. Magnus didn't know what to do. He had been avoiding Alec, ever since that night at Pandemonium so it felt weird being in the same room as him.

After a while, when Magnus realised that sitting in silence was ridiculous he decided to be brave and speak up. “You okay?” He asked hesitantly. Alec flinched as Magnus spoke up. He took his head away from his hands and turned to look at Magnus. _Really_ look. His gaze was very intense as he searched Magnus’s face. Magnus squirmed under his gaze and didn't know if he should ask again, or just leave it. Magnus smiled at Alec, in encouragement and Alec slowly shook his head.  
“No.” He whispered. “I am not… But I don't want to talk about it.”  
Magnus nodded.  
“Can you just… distract me?” Alec asked, and Magnus raised his eyebrows in surprise. _Surely he wasn't asking for se-_

“With a movie or something.” Alec clarified and Magnus let out a relieved sigh. Magnus nodded and proceeded to search Netflix to put on something. Magnus chose a movie, and Alec turned to watch. They both were sitting close, but not close enough. So when he felt Alec’s head on his shoulder, he flinched, not expecting the contact. But when Magnus looked down, he found Alec with his eyes closed, breathing heavily. Magnus hesitantly brought his hand and placed it in Alec’s hair. He hadn't felt the soft strands for far too long. It felt like coming home. Magnus felt himself longing for how things used to be.

_Magnus looked down at the sleeping figure on his chest. They had finally told each other how they felt, after four long months of ‘just being friends’ they had finally confessed yesterday. Which resulted in them being in bed, together. Naked. Making love._  
_Now Magnus had woke up to find Alec still sleeping and he looked like an angel as his eyes moved under his eyelids. Magnus just simply watched him sleep and at the back of his head he knew h_ e _was being creepy but he couldn't help himself. Alec was beautiful._  
 _After a few more minutes, Alec slowly opened his eyes and smiled at Magnus. “Morning.” He whispered, his voice husky from sleep. “Morning to you too.” Alec smiled, shyly at Magnus before burning his face in Magnus’s neck. Breathing in Magnus’s scent. “You're always warm.” Alec whispered._

Chairman Meow jumped onto Magnus’s lap, making Magnus jump slightly. He gently slid out from underneath Alec and walked to the tv to switch it off. When he turned back to Alec, he found Alec blinking his eyes open. “Has the movie finished?” He asked, his voice ruff from sleep. Magnus nodded. Alec stood up from the sofa, “well thanks for the distraction… Night.” He whispered before walking towards his room. Magnus just stared after him.

***

A week after Izzy’s birthday dinner with her family, Alec asked Josh out. Up until now, it had always been Josh taking Alec out. So Alec wanted to do something nice in return. Alec was getting ready in his room when he heard the front door open and close. Magnus was home.  
Alec sighed before proceeding to get ready.

***

Magnus came home after having a long talk with Cat about the whole Alec dating situation and she had made him see that it wasn't fair to Alec if he kept on being jealous. Alec deserved to be happy. Magnus took his jacket and shoes off before settling down on the sofa. Chairman Meow jumped not his lap, and purred when Magnus stroked his fur. He smiled down at his cat. The small moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. Magnus stood up, with the Chairman in his arms, and opened the door.

Josh stood on the other side, wearing black skinny jeans with a black shirt underneath a checkered button down shirt. He had the buttons of the shirt opened to show the shirt underneath. He smiled at Magnus. “Hey Magnus.”  
Magnus was momentarily stunned at the fact that Josh knew his name. But then he remembered the few times when he saw Josh around the apartment. Magnus quickly schooled his features into a warm smile. “Hey Josh. Come in.” He moved aside to let Josh in and Josh smiled in thanks. “I think Alec is getting ready.” Magnus explained and the other man nodded. Magnus sat down on the sofa and Josh sat opposite him. “Nice cat.” He said, and smiled down at Chairman Meow. Magnus chuckled.

“Yeah. But don't let his cuteness fool you. He can be a devil.” Magnus replied. And Josh let out a laugh. There was a moment of awkward silence between them. Before Josh decided to speak up. “So… are you okay with me dating Alec?”  
Magnus’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “What? Why would I-“  
“Cause you two use to date.” Josh clarified. And Magnus let out a soft breath. He hadn't realised that Alec had told Josh about their past. Magnus smiled and nodded. “Yeah I am. Alec deserves to be happy. And if you can make him happy then I am happy. Just don't… don't make the same mistake I did.”  
“And what's that?” Josh asked.

Magnus hesitated before answering. “I… I hurt him… because of something stupid. Please don't hurt him.” Magnus’s eyes met Josh’s in an intense gaze. Josh nodded slowly.  
“You still love him?” Josh asked. And Magnus studied his face. Josh looked like an honest and honourable man. Magnus slowly nodded before answering. “I do.” He whispered.  
Josh was about to reply, but they both looked up when Alec walked in. Magnus forced a smile and Josh broke his gaze away from Magnus and smiled a small smile at Alec. “Hey. Ready to go?” Josh asked. And Alec nodded, silently.

They both walked out, leaving Magnus alone in the apartment.

***

Little did Magnus and Josh know that Alec had heard everything.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your responses to this story have been amazing!! Love your opinions and predictions!!!! Thanks guys! You're all amazing.


	5. Scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry :( 
> 
> Is it weird that I cried whilst writing this?

Alec was silent all the way to the restaurant, where they were going to have their date. _Magnus still loved him? No! He is lying. He has to be._

“Alec?” Josh’s voice brought him out of his thoughts. “You okay? You've been quite since we left your apartment.” Alec jerked his head in a small nod.  
“Y-yeah I am fine. Just… thinking.”  
“About?” Josh smiled and nudged Alec in a playful manner. Alec forced a smile.  
“Erm… just about my next chapter for my book.” Alec lied. Josh searched his face, and after a while he nodded. “Okay.”  
They reached the restaurant, and took their table. Alec decided to push what he had heard Magnus confess out of his mind. He was on a date with Josh. It was about time he paid attention to his boyfriend. And not his _ex_.  
Alec focused back on Josh, who was telling a story about his sisters shenanigans. He decided that stressing over what Magnus said wasn't worth it. Not when he had a boyfriend who he _could_ learn to love. _But not like Magnus though._ His mind reminded him.

***

After Alec left, Magnus got up and decided to call Cat. He was really bored and hoped Cat wasn't working. “Hey Cat.” Magnus greeted after Cat picked up her phone.  
“Hey Magnus. What's up?”  
“Nothing much. I was just wondering want to go out to eat?” Magnus asked.  
“Yeah okay. I will come to your place in 15.” Cat agreed.  
“Okay. See ya.”  
He was glad that Cat lived close, and that she didn't seem to be doing anything. After 15 minutes were up, Magnus heard a knock on the door. Magnus opened the door to see his oldest and bestest friend. “Hey Cat. Let's go.” Cat nodded and after locking up, they both stepped out of the apartment building. They walked arm in arm to Takis, as it happened to be closer to any other café.  
After sitting down in their usual spot, they started to chat about the everyday small thing, making small talk as they waited for the food to arrive.

After their food arrived Cat spoke up. “So… how is everything?” Magnus knew her well enough to hear the question underneath. _How is everything with Alec?_  
Magnus rolled his eyes. “Everything is fine. I usually avoid Alec when I can. And when I can't things are… well… they are not like before but there are less weird. Which is a good thing. I want to move past this.” Cat listened and nodded along with what Magnus was saying. She smiled at Magnus and reached for his hand. “Look… I know during all that time you were with Scott, it was just a… distraction, but you are right you need to move past this. Stop looking for distractions and start looking for ways to be happy… Magnus I am so proud of you.” Cat looked into Magnus’s eyes, and smiled warmly.

Magnus returned the smile. “Thanks Cat. I mean it's hard. Even when I was with Scott, I couldn't stop thinking about Alec. And now seeing him with someone else, it's so hard. But… he deserves to be happy.” Magnus shrugged his shoulders, and Cat gave him a soft sympathetic smile.  
After their dinner, Cat had to go back to the hospital, so Magnus was walking back to his apartment when he saw _her_. “Ah Magnus Bane.” She greeted.  
Magnus stopped walking and turned to look at her. “Maryse." 

“I would say it's lovely to see you, but it really isn't. Now, excuse me I was heading home.” Magnus tried to walk away but her words made him stop. “I'm glad you kept your end of our deal.” Magnus felt a shiver run through his body. He refused to show any emotion on his face as he slowly turned back to face her. “Well it's not like you gave me a choice in the matter.” He replied through gritted teeth. Maryse smirked and moved forward.

“Trust me when I say this. What I did was for Alec’s benefit. You were kidding yourself when you thought you could make him happy. You don't deserve him. He deserves to be with someone who isn't from the gutter.” Maryse spat out.  
Magnus took a step back. “Your right. Alec deserves someone better than me. But you don't deserve him either. Alec is good, and kind and honest. All the things you could never posses.” Magnus gave her one last look and walked away.

His pace quickened as he rushed to get home. He was practically running and when he saw his apartment, he rushed faster. He ran up the stairs of the building and opened his door. Expecting an empty apartment. But luck just wasn't on his side as he met eyes with Alec and Josh cuddled up on the sofa. They both looked up when Magnus burst in, breathing in and out heavily. “Magnus? What's wrong? Why are you crying?” Alec asked, disentangling himself from Josh.  
Magnus hadn't even realised he was crying, until Alec mentioned it. Being too caught up in getting away from Maryse and trying to get the things she said out of his head, he hadn't felt his tears. Slowly as he came back to his senses, he felt the wetness on his cheeks. “I- I… It… I… just have a really bad headache, and I guess it just got to me.” Magnus struggled as he searched for an excuse. He slowly backed away from Alec and Josh and towards his room. Josh looked at Alec, and then back at Magnus. “Hey, Alec… I'm gonna go, it's getting late.” Josh said and Alec turned his attention away from Magnus and looked at Josh. He slowly nodded. Josh leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek before slipping into his jacket. “Bye Magnus. I hope your… headache feels better.” Josh said, before walking out of the apartment.

Both of them were silent for what felt like an eternity. Alec just stared at him. And Magnus didn't know what to do or say. “Josh seems like a good guy.” Magnus finally spoke up. “I am glad that he makes you happy.” Alec didn't reply and just kept staring. After a while, Magnus started to walk away to his room, when Alec spoke up. “Why were you crying?” He asked. And Magnus froze.  
“I told you. I have a headache.” Magnus replied not turning around, keeping his back to Alec.  
“You're a terrible liar Magnus Bane.” Alec replied.  
“I know.” Magnus admitted and when Alec didn't reply Magnus carried on walking towards his room.

***

Alec knew Magnus was hurting. But he didn't know what to do. He also didn't know if it was his place to ask Magnus what the matter was. But he did it anyway, knowing Magnus wouldn't tell him. But he had to try. Alec sighed and walked to his room. It had been a long day. He still didn't know what to think of the whole Magnus still loving him thing. _If he was still in love with me then why would he be happy for me and Josh?_ Alec mentally asked himself.  
_He couldn't be._  
_He was lying._  
_He didn't have time for me. He said so himself. If he loved me… he wouldn't have broken up with me_.  
Alec fell on his bed and laid on his back. Staring at the ceiling as he thought everything over. He hadn't realised that hours had passed when he heard soft murmurs of Magnus’s voice coming from his room. Alec looked at the clock and three hours had passed, as the clock read 2am.  
At first he thought Magnus was on the phone to someone, but his murmurs became louder. Alec slowly stood up and walked out of his room and stood in front of Magnus’s closed door. The murmuring had gotten louder and it sounded like Magnus kept on repeating the same word again and again.  
Alec debated if he should open the door and check on Magnus, and after Magnus’s murmurs turned to cries for help he knew he should go in. Alec slowly opened the door to see Magnus asleep, but twisting and turning as he dreamt. Magnus rarely had nightmares, but when he did it usually meant that he had a really bad day. Alec walked towards Magnus and slowly shook him. “Magnus. Wake up.”

***

Magnus was exhausted, mentally and physically. He changed into his night clothes and slid into bed. Falling sleep quickly.

_I rushed down the stairs. Mama had called me down to eat and I was really hungry. When I got to the table, I saw a man sitting there with mama. They both looked at me as I entered. “Who are you?” I asked. Mama looked at the man and gave him a small smile._

_“This is Mark. He will be your step dad,” she replied. I felt my heart beat increase._  
“ _Stepdad?” I echoed. The man nodded and smiled at me. But there was something off about his smile. I tried to not shiver in disgust as he looked me over. “Magnus sweetie. Come and eat. I made your favourite.” Mama said and I nodded and sat down opposite mama and Mark._  
Magnus felt himself watch his younger self, through his dream. The dream suddenly changed and skipped ahead in time to where Magnus was a little bit older.

_I ran home after school, as I had news to tell mama. We had a school trip coming up to the museum. I couldn't wait to tell mama. I had never been to a museum before so I was really excited. I opened the front door, and walked inside. “Mama! Mama! Mama? Where are you?” I yelled into the house which seemed empty. I ran to the back of the house and saw Mark. ‘He must know where my mama is’, I thought. I ran toward him but stopped shortly. Mark was straddling mama’s waist, holding her arms down with one hand and the other hand was around her throat. I ran towards mama. “Hey! Get off of her!” I yelled. Mark turned his head and smirked at me._

_He got up and came towards me. “How dare you speak to me like that?” He yelled and I took a step back. But he came closer until he backed me up against the wall. I was trapped, and cried out when I hit my head on the wall. He grabbed my head and pulled on my hair, hard. I cried out once again as the pain was too much, Mark grinned in return. “You are just like you mother. Worthless and pathetic.” He pulled on my hair again, then he brought his hand and slapped me across the face. I felt hot tears fall out of my eye, as my cheek started to sting. He pushed me away from the wall and onto the floor.  
Everything went dark, as I hit my head somewhere. _

Magnus felt the dream change as it once again skipped time.

_I hid under my bed, when the yelling started. Things didn't end well when mama started arguing with Mark. I clutched onto my toy cat, a gift mama had given me for my fifth birthday. I just laid there, listening to the noise, trembling with fear. After a while, the noise calmed down and I heard the front door open and close. I slowly climbed out of my hiding place and walked out of my room. I saw mama sat on the floor, with her head low. “Mama?” I whispered. Mama looked up at me and I gasped. Her eyes were swollen and her lips were cut. “Mama. Your hurt.” I exclaimed and ran to her. She smiled at me sadly._

_“I know baby. But this way you won't be.” I looked at her, confused._  
_“What do you mean mama?” I asked.  
She just shook her head in reply. “Come on. Let's get you to bed.” She said instead. I nodded and walked to my room_.

Magnus stirred in his sleep as the time skipped once again. He hadn't realised that someone had walked into his room.

“ _Mama? I need a wee. Mama? Mama open the door. Open the bathroom door.” I turned the door knob and the door opened. I knew I wasn't allowed in the bathroom when some one else was in, as it was bad manners. But I couldn't hold my wee in any longer. I opened the door further and stepped inside.  
Mama was lying in the middle of the bathroom floor. There was a red liquid all around her. I remembered that the red liquid was called blood from the time I fell over and hurt my knee. “Mama? Wake up. Your arms are bleeding. Mama you need to put a bandage on them.” I shook her, but she wouldn't wake up. “Mama? Please wake up.” I cried. She was scaring me now. ‘Why wouldn't mama wake up?’ I thought. I shook her again, and again until I heard someone coming up the stairs. Mark walked into the bathroom. He froze as he looked at mama. Then his eyes settled on me. “You did this! You killed her!” _

_‘Killed? No. Mama was asleep. Killed was a bad word. Mama would wake up any minute’ I thought.  
Mark came and grabbed me by the hair, and I cried out as he pulled it. “You did this!” He shouted over and over again. “No. I didn't. Mama has just gone to sleep.” I cried. But Mark wasn't hearing me, as he pushed me into the ground and strangled me with his hands. I struggled to breathe all the while shouting “no.” _

  
“ _Magnus. Magnus. Magnus_. Magnus. Wake up. Magnus. It's Alec. Wake up it's just a dream.”

Magnus bolted up right into a sitting position, nearly knocking Alec off the bed in the process, who was sitting on the side of it. Magnus was breathing heavily and his pillow was soaked from sweat and tears. He took in his surroundings. His room. Home. He was home. He was safe. Slowly Magnus’s heartbeat slowed down and his breath became normal.

He blinked at Alec, who was just sat there waiting for Magnus to calm down. “You okay now?” Alec hesitantly asked. And a voice in Magnus’s head screamed ' _No I am not okay, I will never be okay'._ “Yes.” Magnus replied. Alec nodded.

“Do you… want to talk… about it?” He asked and Magnus shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to talk about how the worst parts of his childhood had decided to haunt him in his dreams. Alec nodded again, and stood up to leave. “Okay I will just b-“

“No! Alec. You can't leave me. Please I beg you. Don't leave me alone.” Magnus grabbed Alec’s sleeve of his shirt, pulling Alec back onto the bed. Alec’s face was full of surprise. His eyebrows raised and his mouth hanging open, before he slowly nodded and climbed into Magnus’s bed.  
At the back of his mind Magnus knew he was being selfish, but he was just so _scared_. He _needed_ Alec. Even if Alec didn't need him.

Magnus wrapped an arm around Alec’s waist, clutching onto the material of his shirt, tightly. Scared to let go. Alec wrapped his arm around Magnus’s shoulders. “Magnus you're shaking.” Alec whispered. And Magnus moved his head so his face was in the crook of Alec’s neck.  
“Just hold me. I know I am being selfish and I know you hate me. But just for tonight, one night. Just hold me.” Magnus babbled.  
Alec was too stunned to come up with a reply.

They both didn't really sleep that night. Just held each other close and pleasured in the other's presence.  
Eventually Magnus was cosy enough for sleep to come again. As he was drifting off he thought he heard Alec mummer something. “I don't hate you.” But Magnus didn't know if it was in his head or not. He decided to let it go and slept into a dreamless sleep.

***

Alec was frozen when Magnus asked him to stay. He had never done that so it must have been pretty bad. Alec just stared at the ceiling as Magnus’s head lay on his chest and his breathes deepened. Alec slowly moved his hand, to rest in Magnus’s soft silky hair. He twirled the strands around his fingers, and Magnus sighed in his sleep. Alec smiled at him. Magnus reminded him of Chairman Meow. Whenever Chairman Meow trusted someone they would spread out on top of them and get comfortable. Magnus was the same. One of his legs came over Alec and intertwined with Alec’s legs. Alec brought his other arm around Magnus, so now Magnus was completely engulfed in Alec’s arms.

It felt weird because they hadn't been this close for months, but it was the good weird. It was like coming home. Alec knew he was crossing a dangerous line, but for once in his life he didn't care. They weren't doing anything. Alec was just comforting a friend in his time of need. A friend. He hated that word associated with Magnus.

Alec decided to shut his brain off and gets some shut eye. He closed his eyes, and as if he couldn't help himself, he gave a small kiss to Magnus, on his forehead. Magnus moved closer and hid his face in Alec’s neck. His breaths tickled the skin, but Alec felt himself relax and sleep take over.

***

Magnus woke up to a hand stroking his hair. His sleepy mind registered the feeling and he smiled, with his eyes closed. He hummed before opening them and when he did he froze. He saw Alec asleep, looking very innocent and beautiful. Magnus was confused to find Alec in his bed, before all the memories of last night came back to Magnus. Magnus allowed himself a second more of being close to Alec, before he reminded himself that this wasn't right. Alec had a boyfriend. He moved away from Alec and got out of bed.

He didn't really want an awkward encounter with the other male, so he quickly got changed and grabbed his keys, before writing a quick note and sticking it on the bed side table, he left the apartment.

***

Alec woke up to a cold and empty bed. Magnus was no where to be seen. He sighed and got up and he was just about to walk back into his own room when he saw the note.

**Thank you for staying with me last night. – Magnus**

Alec sighed, and proceeded to walk back to his room. It was still very early, so he decided to go out for a run and clear his mind. He got dressed into his running clothes, and set out for his run.  
Alec couldn't understand as to why Magnus would think Alec hated him. Even when Alec had every right to hate Magnus. He just couldn't. He had been nice to Magnus, during those times when his siblings hadn't. During those times when Magnus didn't deserves Alec’s kindness. Alec was too caught up in his head to realise he had ran himself to Takis. He sighed and walked into get himself coffee.

He walked in and ordered his coffee, only to run into Josh. “Hey. Didn't expect to see you here.” Josh greeted. Alec smiled. “Yeah I was just out for a run. What about you what are you doing here?” Alec got his coffee from the barista, and they both sat down at one of them empty tables. “I like to come here, in the mornings to just drink coffee and read. It's quiet in the mornings. Peaceful.” Josh explained and Alec nodded. It _did_ sound peaceful.

“So tell me. How was everything after I left? Is Magnus okay?” Josh asked and he genuinely looked concerned.

“Erm… well after you left I asked him what was wrong but he kept on saying he had a head ache which I didn't believe.”  
Josh snorted. “Even I didn't believe him. He is a terrible liar.”  
“Yeah. I know. He is hurting. I just don't know what to do about it. I just wa-“  
“You love him.” Josh stated, interrupting Alec.  
Alec’s eyes widened and he started to blush. “What…. No – I… d- no – I don't –“  
“It's okay, you don't need to lie.” Josh comforted. Alec stopped stammering and looked at Josh. Josh smiled back. “Look I have only known you for a couple of months, and going out with you has been fun. But I can see the way you two look at each other. And I would hate myself if I was in the middle of that.”

“What are you saying?” Alec asked slowly. Josh smiled and took Alec’s hand in his.  
“I am saying that I think it's time you be with the person you love. I am saying that we should breakup.” Josh answered. Alec was speechless at the fact that Josh did it so calmly.

“If you knew I still loved him, why aren't you angry at me?” Alec asked.  
“Alec. It isn't my place to be angry. I have only known you for two months. But you have know Magnus much longer. It would be totally strange if you _didn't_ still love him. And from what I have heard about why you two broke up, was because he didn't have time for you. Right?” Alec nodded.

“And that doesn't seem to be true, as he was with Scott merely a few few months after your breakup. Right?” Josh asked again, and Alec nodded again.  
“So have you ever wondered that the ‘not having time reason’ was a lie? And that there is something else going on?” Josh asked. He was right. Alec had never thought about whether or not Magnus was lying about the reason of their breakup. Well… to be fair, he was too heartbroken to investigate.

“I always thought that he didn't want me anymore.” Alec replied.  
Josh shook his head. “You don't see the way he still looks at you. He told me that he stills loves you the other day.” And Alec nodded. He knew that part. He heard Magnus himself.

“I know… I was there. I heard him.”  
“And you still doubt his love for you?” Josh questioned, raising his eyebrows.   
“I… I need to think about it.” Alec replied. This was all too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys your comments are amazing!!   
> Just keep reading and enjoying!!


	6. To talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Basically both Alec and Magnus seek for advice from their loved ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for a little late. Just been crazy busy these past few days. But here you go!!!

It was early when he left Alec in his bed, asleep. He didn't really want to wait until he woke so he decided to go out. Magnus kept thinking about his dream. Dreams like that are hard to forget. And it wasn't just a dream. It was a part of his past. It was the beginning of everything.

What that everything entailed, Magnus didn't want to get into right now. Magnus didn't usually go for runs, but he had heard from various different people that morning runs helped clear the mind. And that's exactly what Magnus needed at the moment. So he ran.

He ran

And ran

Until he was out of breath.

He looked around his surroundings and found himself at a park. He walked up to one of the benches and realised the park was almost deserted. Magnus took deep breaths, trying to slow his racing heart down. Trying to get rid of his adrenaline. He took out his phone and looked at the time. He hadn't realised but two hours had passed by. He was just checking his phone for any messages when a call of his name made him look up.

“Magnus!” It was Josh. Magnus smiled his fake smile at Josh, who came closer and sat down next to Magnus. “Hey… Josh. W-what are you doing here?” Seeing Josh was a reminder that what happened last night, with Alec, couldn't happen again. It wasn't fair to Josh. “I just had coffee with Alec, and I was just heading home.” Magnus nodded. _Of course they were having a coffee date_. Magnus thought, feeling bitter. “So is your headache better now?” Josh asked.  
Magnus looked at him, confused. “Me headache…?” Magnus trailed off in question and saw Josh smile. “From last night.” Josh clarified and Magnus’s eyes widened in realisation.  
“Oh yeah. My headache. From last night. Yeah I'm feeling fine now.” Magnus chuckled nervously. And Josh smiled again.

“That's good I'm glad,” he replied. Magnus nodded in thanks.  
“Look…Magnus… I… Can I ask you a question?” Josh asked. And Magnus nodded.  
“What's the real reason to why you broke up with Alec?” Josh asked. Magnus nearly choked on air.  
“Excuse me? He asked.  
“Look… I know your ‘not having time’ reason isn't the truth. Alec is a great guy. I can see the way you look at him. And the way he looks at you. So I know you're still in love with him.” Magnus couldn't believe what he was hearing. Alec hated him. He was sure of it.

Magnus opened his mouth before closing it again. He was left speechless. “You don't have to tell me the reason. But… Alec deserves to know.” Josh continued, before standing up and smiling a soft sympathetic smile and walking away.

Magnus just sat there, frozen. He wanted to scream that he _did_ want to tell Alec. But he knew if he told Alec then Alec would hate him even more than he did at the moment. He didn't want Alec to see him differently, and he knew that if Alec were to find out then he would.  
He took his phone out, which he had pocketed after Josh sat down, and dialled Cat’s number. Too much was going on inside his head. And he had to get it out. He had to tell someone. He knew Cat would never judge him. She would understand. “Hello?” Cat’s voice came through the phone.  
“Cat. I… I need to talk. Are you free?” Magnus rushed out.  
“Yeah I am. Come over.” Magnus nodded and ended the call, making his way to Cat’s. He needed to tell _someone_. He wasn't ready to tell Alec, not yet.

***

After having coffee with Josh. Alec slowly walked back to the apartment, trying to process everything that had happened. Alec was kind of glad that Josh broke up with him. Their time together wasn't the same as it was with Magnus. Alec had realised that he liked Josh as a friend, instead of something more. And he was really happy that Josh felt the same way too. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He knew that he wasn't being fair to Josh as he still had feelings, very strong feelings, for Magnus. But now that Josh knew Alec didn't feel guilty anymore. But that didn't stop him from being confused and a little bit angry. Angry towards Magnus. _Why did he lie to me?_ Alec kept on repeating over in his head.

He reached the apartment, and slowly slid the key in and unlocked the door. He expected Magnus to be home, as it had only been a couple of hours since he had left. But he was relieved to find the apartment empty, except for Chairman Meow who rubbed against his left, demanding to be picked up. Alec smiled to himself and picked up the tabby cat. The Chairman immediately curled up in Alec’s arms and started to purr. Magnus’s cat was an attention seeking drama queen.

He took off his jacket, with one hand as the Chairman was still in his arms, and took his phone out to ring his sister. Ever since he was little, he would always ask Izzy for help or advice which was weird as she was his little sister. But Alec wouldn't have it any other way. The phone rang about three times before Izzy picked up.  
“Hey Iz. I need to talk. You free?”  
“Hey Alec. Yeah I am. I will be over in about half an hour.” She replied and Alec thanked her before hanging up. Alec sighed and decided to make something to eat, as he had only drank coffee. He made himself toast and ate as he waited for Izzy to come.

***

Magnus arrived at Cat’s with donuts and coffee, as he hadn't had breakfast and he doubted Cat had. Cat smiled at him and took the food and motioned him to come inside. They got plates and sat down on the sofa and began to eat. It wasn't until they were half way into eating, when Cat cleared her throat and Magnus looked up from his donut.  
“So? What did you want to talk about?” She asked. Magnus sighed.  
“I had a nightmare again last night.” He replied. Cat raised her eyebrows.  
“The one where your mother…” she trailed off and Magnus nodded. He had told her about his early childhood. But not what came after that.

“Alec heard me murmuring, whilst I slept and he came and woke me up. Then…”  
“Then?” Cat pushed.  
Magnus sighed. “Then, I asked him to stay. And he did. And we… he held me all night.” Magnus whispered out the last part. His eyes filling with tears. Cat moved closer to him.

“Oh honey.” She cooed, and pulled him into a hug. Magnus took comfort in the familiar gesture. “Cat. I need to tell you more. I need to get it out.” Cat pulled back and nodded.  
“I am here for you. What ever you want to tell me, I shall listen.” Cat grabbed Magnus’s hands and rubbed them gently. Magnus nodded.  
“Call Ragnor. He should hear this too.” Magnus said. And Cat nodded before standing up to find her phone. It was going to be hard getting everything out, but in the long run it would be worth it. Magnus was done keeping secrets about his past. He was done being afraid.

***

After Izzy came, the Lightwood siblings sat down on the balcony to talk. Alec told her everything. About hearing Magnus and Josh’s conversation the other day and hearing Magnus’s confession. About Magnus coming home crying last night, about waking him up from his nightmare and sleeping next to him, about what Josh had said. Izzy stayed quiet and listened. After Alec was done she simply stared at Alec, not saying anything. “Say something.” Alec spoke up, after the silence was getting too much.

“I think Josh is right. Magnus is hiding something. What that something is? You need to find out.” Izzy replied and Alec shook his head.  
“I… I can't. Iz…”  
“What's stopping you?” Izzy asked, gently. Alec stopped and thought. What was stopping him? After a few seconds of thought the answer was clear.  
“I don't my heart to break again.” He whispered and his eyes filled up with tears, until to the point where they threatened to fall.

***

After Ragnor arrived, they all sat down and Magnus started to talk. He was relieved to get everything about his past out of his system. He felt relief as he told the real reason why he broke up with Alec, and how much is hurt seeing him with Josh. How much he _needed_ Alec in his life, but he couldn't. His friends stayed silent through out it all. Their facial expressions would change from time to time depending on their feelings towards Magnus’s words and Cat’s hand was in Magnus’s, she would squeeze it when ever Magnus ‘s throat closed up on him and he had difficulty in continuing.

But after hours of talking he finally finished in telling his friends everything. He let out a relieved sign, and despite the fact that he was crying he felt happy. Cat reacted first and opened her arms out for Magnus to embrace him in a hug. Magnus immediately accepted, he hadn't realised how much he needed a simple gesture like a hug, until he received it from Cat.

He let his tears fall, and he sobbed into Cat’s shoulder, who gently rocked him until he felt himself calm down. After he felt his sobs die down and his breaths return to somewhat normal he pulled himself away from Cat to look both his friends, Cat and Ragnor, in the eye. Ragnor still hadn't spoken yet. His face didn't show any emotion. So Magnus fiddled with his fingers nervously.

“I have a question.” Ragnor spoke up, breaking the deafening silence. Magnus nodded, encouraging Ragnor to continue. “You haven't told Alec any of this?” He asked and Magnus shook his head. “Why?" Ragnor asked.  
Magnus opened and closed his mouth a few times. “I… I… I always thought he would hate me ever more if he found out about everything. I was scared he would see me differently.”  
Cat rubbed up and down Magnus’s arm, in comfort. “Okay first thing. All this..lt wasn't your fault. So stop blaming yourself. Second we will help you. And third… get Alec back. Tell him what you just told us.” Ragnor said and Magnus shook his head.

“N…no.. I can't. He… his relationship with his mother is finally getting better. I can't ruin that.” Magnus rambled.  
“Mags… sweetie. It's already ruined. He needs to know what his mother has been up to.” Cat replied. Magnus stayed silent, thinking everything over.  
“I – I… I y – yeah. Okay.” Magnus agreed. Magnus was done feeling jealous or upset or scared. He wanted to move past this and be happy, and if that included _not_ being with Alec. Then so be it. At least after all this, Magnus could say he tried.

***

“Oh Alec. You don't know that your heart will be broken. You can't base your future on 'what ifs.' You need to talk to him and settle this. Once and for all. And after… if it doesn't end well… then, at least you can say you tried. You can move past this with closure.” Izzy replied. Alec nodded, slowly.

She was right. Alec knew he had to get past this. This was all too much and it was time Alec found out the truth. “You're right Izzy.” Alec replied. Izzy nodded and stood up to leave.

“I have class in 20 minutes, but tell me how everything goes.” Izzy rushed out and Alec nodded, before Izzy walked out of the front door.

He decided to put this behind until Magnus came home. So he got up and started to work on his novel. Which he was almost done with. He was really wrapped up in his writing that he hadn't realised that the time had gone really fast and it was now noon. He was just about to get up to make himself something to eat, when he heard the door open and close. He turned to look and saw it was Magnus.

“Magnus.” Alec breathed out.

“I need to talk to you.” They both blurted out in sync, which caused them both to raise their eyebrows, before chuckling. “You go first.” Magnus said. Alec nodded and stepped closer to Magnus.  
“Mags… I… Josh thinks that… that you lied about why you broke up with me. And I totally get that we broke up three months ago, and that y -you have moved… on. But I just need closure by getting the real reason behind the breakup.” Alec rambled out. Magnus wasn't surprised at hearing that Josh had told that to Alec.

Magnus took a deep breath and stepped closer to Alec. “That's what I what to talk to you about as well.” Alec was surprised.  
“You do?” He asked and Magnus nodded.  
“Yes, but for you to understand why I broke up with you and why I lied to you, you need to know about my past. And if after… you want to walk away then I won't stop you.” Magnus replied. Alec looked confused, but said nothing. Which Magnus was grateful for.

Magnus took deep breaths, gathering his thoughts before speaking.

“I killed some one.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...??? What did y'all think? 
> 
> Did you like this chapter? 
> 
> Everything will be revealed probably in the next chapter. But I won't make any promises. ;)


	7. A ghost of his past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk!   
> Mysteries solved.   
> Angst ended?... hmmm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to think about how I was going to write this. So that's why it a while. As i had a million different ideas of Magnus's past and how Maryse could blackmail him.

“Magnus. What do you mean when you say killed someone?” Alec asked, his eyes wide. Magnus cursed mentally. Maybe that wasn't the best way to start a conversation. “Well… I..l when I say killed… I mean…” Magnus stammered. Alec looked at Magnus who had his head down and he was playing nervously with his fingers. “Hey.” Alec placed his finger underneath Magnus’s chin and brought his head up, so now they were in eye contact. “Take your time. I know there is more to the story.” Alec whispered.

Magnus’s heart thudded inside his chest. He nodded and Alec took his hand, squeezing it. “Okay.” Magnus breathed. He could do this. He already told Cat and Ragnor, so telling Alec shouldn't be so hard. “You remember when I told you about my mother? And that she killed h-herself. Because my step dad was abusive?” Magnus began, and Alec nodded and squeezed Magnus’s hand again. He had told Alec about the death of his mother, when they had been dating. They had been watching the show 13 reasons why, and when the scene came of where Hannah, the main character, killed herself, Magnus couldn't watch as it triggered memories of his mother. He had asked Alec to turn it off, and Alec obliged, not knowing the real reason until he found Magnus crying that night. He had asked him what the matter was and Magnus had spilled everything about his mother. Alec had held him all night.

“Well… after my step dad found my mother’s body, he blamed me. Said it was my fault that she was dead. He tried to kill me… I – I screamed until I was nearly unconscious and he nearly had k – killed me. But… the neighbours heard my screams. They came to check what was happening and that's when they saw the scene.” Magnus stopped talking and Alec gave him a soft smile. Magnus was reminded of how much he _needed_ Alec’s strength and how empty he had been feeling for the past three months, ever since he broke up with Alec.

“They called the police and I was taken away, whilst my step dad was put into prison. I was 8 at the time, and for two years I spent my life in a care home… Things weren't perfect but they were better then before... At the age of ten, Luke and Jocylen came by and they picked me to adopt. I was happy that finally I would have a family again. It was nice. Clary and I became very close. And Simon too. We were a family.” Magnus smiled and Alec gently squeezed his hand again.

Alec pulled Magnus closer, so now Magnus’s head was on Alec’s chest. Alec brought his other hand (that wasn't holding Magnus’s ) and brought it around Magnus’s shoulders, holding him. Magnus sighed, feeling comfortable in Alec’s arms. “But… things changed. When I went into high school I… fell into the wrong crowd. The crowd that was interested in drugs.” Alec’s eyebrows arose and Magnus nuzzled into his chest. Alec was still holding his hand, which Magnus thought was a good sign. “The only real friend I had was Raphael. He looked out for me and did everything to get me of trouble. He was my brother.” Magnus whispered out the last part. “One night, there was a party and my friends and I were invited. The party was hosted by this cheer leader, who I used to like at the time, Camille. She was beautiful but she kind of a player. I was foolish enough to be one of her games… Anyway, towards the end of the party, she asked me to stay behind. She lead me to her bedroom where this guy Sebastian was waiting. He was the guy who was hooked on drugs. I asked Camille about why he was there, but she only smiled and urged me to sit down on her bed. Camille started to kiss me and… feel me up and I told her to stop as I didn't want Sebastian there to watch us. But she just laughed in response. After a while when I wasn't really into having sex, she gave up and told Sebastian that she wanted to have fun. So Sebastian took out cocaine. He would sell drugs to people, and would ask his gang to sell it to others too. He had asked me too but I declined.

Camille took the plastic bag off of him. She asked me to open the bag for her, and I did. I wasn't thinking. I opened the bag and she took the drug off of me and started to inhale. Sebastian was wasted as he was drinking so he didn't notice when Camille started to cough, erratically. I called for her, asked if she was okay but then she just… fell. Still coughing. Then… she started to cough up blood. She was just laying there having a seizure. I tried to help her but I d- didn't know what to do. Her eyes rolled back inside her head and she was grasping at her throat, gasping for air. I just stood there, frozen. Sebastian looked at her as he heard the chocking noise and he started to blame me. Said it was my fault that she died.

I didn't know what to do. I tried to call the ambulance, but Sebastian snatched the phone away, saying that we were at a crime scene and that they would suspect us and we would get in trouble as there was drugs everywhere. So I let Sebastian pull me out of there… but I knew I couldn't just leave her there so when I got far enough from her house I called the ambulance telling them about Camille, anonymously. I waited until the ambulance arrived and when they pulled her body out I hoped against hope that I would see her moving… but all I saw was her body in a body bag.” Magnus stopped talking and searched Alec’s face for hints of disgust. But Alec’s eyes were only wide in surprise but his eyes didn't show any disgust towards Magnus. “Magnus… you didn't kill Camille. The drugs did.” Alec whispered, caressing Magnus’s hand.

Magnus smiled sadly. “There's more” Magnus whispered and Alec raised his eyebrows. “You asked me why I lied to you about the reason I broke up with you.” Magnus stated and Alec nodded. “I lied because the real reason will make you see everything different.”

“Magnus what are you –“

“Your mother,” Magnus interrupted.

“My… mother? What has she got to do with the breakup?” Alec asked, confusion written all over his face.

“Everything.” Magnus whispered.

***

**One year ago.**

_“Who will be there?” Magnus asked Alec, his boyfriend, who was busy driving. They were on their way to the Lightwood residence where a after party for Izzy and Jace was being held. They had graduated from high school and Alec had asked Magnus to be his date for the event. “Erm… well, my parents and their business partners. My relatives. Max will be there. Erm… Oh! My cousin, Aline. Your going to love her.” Alec smiled and looked at Magnus, before turning his attention back to the road. Magnus smiled back and nodded. He was excited to meet Alec’s extended family. So far he had only just met Robert and Maryse Lightwood as well as Alec’s siblings._

_He had met his parents at a dinner he had been invited to by Alec. Magnus could tell that Maryse didn't like him, very much. Not that Alec knew that. It wasn't long before they arrived and when they reached the door, Magnus reached for Alec’s hand. Suddenly feeling nervous. Alec gave his hand a squeeze and smiled at him. He led Magnus inside where a doorman was standing and he took their coats. Alec led him further into the house, where Alec had grown up, and saw the guests mingling with champagne glasses in their hands. It all seemed very civil. Magnus was glad he had asked Alec on what to wear, as he hadn't wanted to be under dressed. He wore a black suit, which matched Alec’s, and he felt himself sigh in relief as he saw that his clothing didn't stick out._

_They both approached Jace and Izzy, and Magnus embraced them both in a hug and congratulated them on graduating. Their moment, however, was interrupted by Maryse Lightwood. Izzy moved away from Magnus’s arms, somewhat awkwardly, and stood next to Jace. “Alec, and… Magnus.” Maryse greeted. Alec smiled at his mother, but Magnus could tell it was forced. The way she said Magnus’s name, sent shivers down Magnus’s spine._

_She looked him up and down, before her gaze landed on her other children and she smiled, showing her perfect pearl white teeth. “Alec. I am really glad you brought Magnus along with you. I have someone who knows him and is dying to meet him once again.” Maryse said, and Magnus tensed. Alec’s smile faltered and he looked down at Magnus. Magnus was about to speak up, and say he didn't know what she was talking about, when a figure stepped up beside Maryse._

_Sebastian._

_“Magnus, you remember Sebastian don't you? You went to high school together, Sebastian tells me.” Maryse said, innocently. Magnus felt his eyes grew wide as he failed to come up with a reply. He was too busy revisiting those memories again, trying to push them away but failing. “I – I… Yes. We did know each other.” Magnus stammered out. Maryse and Sebastian both smiled in sync. “Oh come on Magnus. We more than just knew each other.” Sebastian replied, his eyes twinkling. Magnus gulped and his hand tightened in Alec’s. Alec, sensing Magnus’s uncomfortable state, rubbed his thumb over the back of Magnus’s hand, trying to soothe him but he couldn't understand why Magnus was uncomfortable. Magnus was about to reply, when they were all interrupted by Max running towards them._

_“Alec. Magnus!” He exclaimed and Alec bent down, letting go of Magnus’s hand, to hug his brother. As the Lightwood siblings were distracted by Max, Magnus saw Sebastian and Maryse slip away. Magnus sighed in relief, and he too smiled down at Max. “What's wrong Magnus? You look like you have seen a ghost.” Max asked. Little did the youngest Lightwood know that Magnus had seen a ghost._

_A ghost of his past._

_***_

_After their little encounter with Sebastian and Maryse, Magnus tried to stay away from them both. He was itching to go home and just cry himself to sleep. But, he had to put on a smile for Izzy and Jace as this was their night, and he didn't want to ruin that for them by leaving. Also if he left, then Alec would know something is up. He wasn't ready to tell Alec, about his past._

_Not yet._

_After a while, Magnus split from his group of friends and went to get himself another drink at the open bar, as he was very thirsty. He was just turning around with his drink in hand when he was stopped by the two people he was trying to avoid. “Can I help you, Maryse?” He asked._

_“As a matter of fact you can.” She replied. Magnus raised his eyebrows but before he could think of an answer, Sebastian moved closer to him. “Come with us.” He whispered in his ear. “I am not going anywhere with you.” Magnus replied, and Maryse smirked._

_“Fine. We will do the talking here, if you want everyone here to find about… Camille.” Maryse replied, and Magnus felt his heartbeat increase._

_“Fine.” Magnus agreed and both Maryse and Sebastian smirked. They led him outside, and Magnus turned to face Sebastian and Maryse. “What do you want?” He asked._

_“What I want it for you to break up with Alec.” Maryse replied. Magnus paled._

_“What? Why?” Magnus' asked. His heart rest drumming rapidly inside his chest._

_“Because you are not good for him. You are a piece of trash, and doesn't belong to be with him.” Maryse replied. Her words hit him hard. He knew Alec didn't think that, but he couldn't help but let the words hit close to home._

_“And what are you going to do if I don't break up with him?” Magnus asked, dreading the answer, but asking anyway._

_“Well.. remember what happened to your friend Camille? Well… Dear Sebastian here was kind enough to bring me a video tape, that was taken at the time of the incident, how you gave the drugs to her. And how you left her.” Maryse snarled. Sebastian smiled and stood next to Maryse, remaining quite. “What video tape?” Magnus foolishly asked._

_Maryse’s smirk only grew. “You see, Camille, may she rest in peace, wanted to make a video of how amazing you were in bed. She had the camera all set up, so she could undress you and show the world how Magnus Bane was in bed. But when you refused, she decided she rather do drugs than do you. And well… that's how the tape came about.” Sebastian replied, smiling devilishly. Magnus swallowed and took a step back. “And if… you don't what we ask, well then.” Maryse laughed. “We shall release this video to the police and my poor son will see the real side to you. And when he does, well… he won't want you. Just like your parents. Trust me you will be doing him a favour. You have two weeks to end things with Alec, or we will release this video. Oh and if you tell him about our little… arrangement then we will also release this video,” she added. Magnus couldn't breathe, and he watched everything happen in slow motion, Maryse and Sebastian walked away, their laughter ringing in Magnus’s ears and he didn't know where he was going. All he knew he had to get out of here._

_He walked back inside, and found Alec laughing at something with his siblings. He saw how happy Alec was. How happy Alec would be without Magnus in his life. He walked up to Alec and placed his hand on his shoulder. “Hey, I don't feel well. I'm going to go home.” Magnus whispered so the others wouldn't hear. Alec looked confused and concerned. “What's wrong?” He asked. And Magnus shook his head._

_“Nothing. I just don't feel well.” Magnus repeated._

_“Okay, I will come with you.” Alec said. But Magnus shook his head._

_“No! You celebrate with your siblings, I will take a taxi. It's fine.” Magnus said. And Alec shook his head. “No! Magnus I can't leave you to go home, alone. At this time of night.” Alec argued. He was right it had gotten late, but Magnus didn't care._

_“No, Alec. I need to go. Alone.” Magnus said firmly and he walked away, leaving a stunned Alec behind. That was the beginning of the end of their relationship._

***

“And two weeks later. You broke up with me.” Alec stated and Magnus nodded. He had moved away from Alec, no longer laying on his chest, but Alec still had his hand in his. “Because you were scared that my mum was going to release that video?” Alec asked and Magnus nodded again. “This was the reason you were acting weird. That night after the party? Because what my mum said to you.” Alec realised and Magnus nodded. He seemed to have lost his voice after telling everything to Alec.

Alec took his hand out of Magnus’s and Magnus was forced to face the awful truth. _Alec doesn't want me. After what I just told him. How could anyone still want to be with me?_ His mind kept telling him. Magnus cleared his throat and blinked rapidly to get rid of his tears. “I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I will move out of this apartment if that makes you comfortable."

Alec stared at Magnus with wide eyes. “Magnus. What are you talking about?” He asked. Magnus didn't need Alec to spell it out for him as it would hurt more than it already did. So he stood up, and started to make his way to his room, where he planned on crying himself to sleep, until the morning where he would pack and leave. Alec grabbed his wrist, and made him stop. “Where are you going? What are you talking about?” Alec asked, not letting go of Magnus.

“After what I just told you. Alec it's okay if you can't forgive me. I don't deserve your forgiveness.” Magnus rasped out. Alec’s eyes widened and he shook his head.

“No. You do. I blamed you. When really it's my mothers fault. You have been through hell and back and you think I won't forgive you? Hell. _I_ should be asking for _your_ forgiveness. I was angry at you for lying to me. For breaking up with me.” Alec gently placed both his hands on Magnus’s cheeks. Looking deep into Magnus’s eyes. Magnus stared back, not believing what he was hearing. “What… what are you saying? Magnus asked. Not wanting to jump to conclusions. Alec smiled and leaned forward, slowly. “I'm saying. That I love you. I still love you. And –“

“What about Josh?” Magnus asked. Alec look at him. Confused for a minute.

“Oh. Josh broke up with, he knew that I still love you and he said that you… still l – loved me… do you?” Alec whispered the last part. His vulnerability showing.

“Yes. Yes. How could I stop?” Magnus practically yelled, and closed the gap between them in a searing kiss. They knew they had to talk about lots of things. But for now the need to feel the other was empowering. So they let their hearts do the talking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay... I may or may not have stolen the idea of Camille dying by a drug overdose from Gossip girl! Lol.


	8. Souls caught on fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I usually don't go in to detail when writing a sex scene so this is my first time.

Magnus led Alec into his room, walking backwards and not breaking their kiss. Alec followed with his hands around Magnus’s waist. They reached the wall outside his room, and Alec pushed him so his back was to the wall. Alec left a trail of kisses from Magnus’s lips down to his neck, where he stopped and gave a playful bite before sucking on the skin and forming a small visible hickey. Magnus moaned and pulled on Alec’s hair, making Alec groan. Magnus pulled at Alec’s head and smashed his lips with Alec once again.

Alec pushed Magnus, until they both entered the room and Alec closed the door. Magnus pushed Alec and his back hit the door. Magnus broke the kiss and breathed out “off.” As he pulled at Alec’s shirt. Alec obliged and then pulled Magnus’s off too. Alec let his hands wander down Magnus’s chest and when his fingers brushed Magnus’s nipples, Magnus let out a small moan. Alec smiled to himself and tweaked his right nipple between his index finger and thumb. Meanwhile Magnus’s moans increased. It had been way too long since Alec had touched Magnus this way, he had almost forgotten what it felt like.

“I love you,” Alec breathed out, looking into Magnus’s lust filled irises. Magnus’s eyebrows scrunched in pleasure as Alec tweaked his nipple again. “I love you.” Magnus panted out, before putting an arm around Alec’s neck and pulling him into a kiss. Alec pushed him, until Magnus’s legs hit the bed and he fell, pulling Alec with him who landed on top of Magnus. Alec broke their kiss and kissed, open mouth kisses, from his chin down to his chest and to his navel. Magnus had his hands in Alec’s hair, and was pulling at the strands as he writhed underneath Alec. “Alec… stop teasing.” He panted out. Alec smirked and looked up at Magnus. “But teasing is good,” Alec replied, mischievously. Magnus huffed and with sudden power, that Alec didn't know he possessed, Magnus turned them over. So now he hovered above Alec. Alec stared at Magnus with wide eyes. “That was so hot,” Alec breathed out and Magnus chuckled before kissing down Alec’s chest. He reached Alec’s nipple and started to nibble on the right nub, whilst tweaking the other with his fingers. Alec let out a soft moan. Magnus then left opened mouth kissed down to his navel. He kissed along Alec’s abdomen, before kissing down to where Alec’s cock was hidden underneath Alec’s jeans. He looked at Alec, and Alec gave him a small nod before Magnus took the zipper between his teeth and open the zip. Magnus smirked at Alec and hooked his fingers in Alec’s jeans, along with his boxers and pulled off the material.

He settled in between Alec’s legs and gave Alec’s, now hard, cock a little kitten lick. Alec’s breathing became heavy as Magnus’s hand went around his cock and Magnus gave it a little squeeze which made Alec buck his hips up. Magnus smiled, and held Alec down before engulfing his whole cock into his mouth. Alec let out a loud moan and his hands settled into Magnus’s hair. Magnus groaned when Alec pulled on the soft brown strands, the vibrations sending shivers up Alec’s spine. Magnus slowed his pace down, until the point he was just giving Alec soft licks. “M – Magnus… S – Stop the teasing.” Alec panted out. Magnus smirked and climbed back on top of Alec, and gave him a small kiss on his lips. “But darling. Teasing is good.” Magnus repeated what Alec had said to him. Alec glared at him, and Magnus chuckled. “Alexander.” Magnus whispered. “What do you want?”

Alec didn't even hesitate, before answering. “I want you… is that okay?” Magnus smiled before nodding and giving a small gentle kiss on his nose. “More than okay.” Magnus replied.  
Magnus pulled away from Alec, and reached for his side table to get out the lube and a condom. As he reached Alec kissed his shoulder, sensually. “Come back.” Alec whispered. Magnus returned back to his position of hovering above Alec and leaned down to kiss Alec. They both smiled into the kiss before Magnus broke it. He moved down and lay on his stomach, between Alec’s legs. He left trails of kisses from Alec’s knee to his inner thigh, where Magnus paused and bit into the soft skin. Alec moaned and immediately jerked at the pleasure. After Magnus marked the skin of Alec’s thigh Magnus gave the skin a little lick before moving towards Alec’s cock.

_They had just finished making love, and were cuddled up in each other's arms, when Alec spoke up. “Why do you always mark my thighs?” Alec asked, looking down at Magnus who had his head on Alec’s chest. Magnus blushed and looked away and didn't reply. “Do you have a marking thighs kink?” Alec asked, smiling. Magnus snuggled deeper into Alec’s chest and Alec let out a loud laugh. “You do!” Alec concluded._

_“I like it because… because it's a private place. No one will see the marks except me and you.” Magnus whispered out after a few seconds. Alec was stunned at how vulnerable he sounded. He reached down and placed his finger underneath Magnus's chin and brought his head up. “I love you.” Alec whispered. “And… I like it too.” Magnus smiled and leaned forward, giving Alec a small peck. “I love you too.”_

Alec was brought back to the present, when he felt Magnus’s tongue at his entrance, and his hips lurched upwards. “Magnus. S – stop teasing.” Alec panted out. Magnus licked at his entrance a little more, wetting his hole, before he reached for the lube and lubed up his fingers. He gently pushed his index finger into Alec and Alec’s breathing became heavier with each breath. Magnus slowly started to move the finger in and out, before adding another. Alec was moaning, his eyes rolled back into his head. Magnus curled his fingers, and found Alec’s prostate making Alec jerk and let out a loud moan. “M – Magnus. Need. More.” Alec huffed. And Magnus chuckled at Alec’s grumpy face.

He pulled his fingers out, before taking his jeans off. As his own cock sprung free, Magnus sighed in relief. He too was very hard and he couldn't wait to be buried deep inside Alec. He grabbed the condom and after taking it out of the packet, he rolled it on before positioning himself between Alec. “You ready?” Magnus asked, and Alec nodded.  
“Yeah.” Alec panted out. Magnus leaned forward and kissed Alec as he entered into Alec, slowly and gently. One of the things Alec loved about Magnus was that he was always gentle when they had sex. Good thing that hasn't changed in the time we spent apart. Alec thought and smiled.

“What are you smiling at?” Magnus asked, as he filled up Alec. Alec took a moment to compose himself before replying. “”You're always gentle with me,” Alec whispered and Magnus leaned down to kiss him, “of course,” Magnus replied. Alec gladly kissed him back, and moaned into Magnus’s mouth when Magnus started to move.

They both moved in sync as they made love. It was steady paced, as Magnus would alternate between slow thrusts to fast ones. They both hadn't felt each other for so long, hadn't had skin on skin contact, hadn't felt their hearts beating as one in the act of passion. Their eyes met, as Magnus moved in and out, and it was like their souls caught on fire. The intensity of their gazes on the other burned right through till it reached the soul. “M – Magnus… ngghhh… m – more.” Alec babbled out. He clenched around Magnus’s cock, and Magnus cried out and buried his face in the crook of Alec’s neck. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus’s shoulders and wrapped his legs around Magnus’s waist, his feet resting on Magnus’s butt, so now they couldn't tell where one began and the other ended.

At this point they were both close to finishing, as they panted into each other’s mouths. Alec’s eyes rolled back into his head. “Mag – I… mmm… close!” Alec practically yelled and Magnus nodded to tell Alec that he too was close. With one last thrust and a bite from Magnus, on his neck, Alec came all over his and Magnus’s stomach’s. He moaned loudly as he spilled, and the sound of Alec’s moans and the clenching of Alec’s hole sent Magnus over the edge, and he spilled into the condom.

They both panted, and Magnus collapsed on top of Alec, who didn't mind at all. After they both came down from their high, Magnus climbed off of Alec and threw the used condom into the bin, before getting a wet cloth to clean them up.

After cleaning up, he threw the cloth into the dirty clothes bin, and climbed back into bed. Alec immediately cuddled up next to him.

***

They both lay in silence as they enjoyed the after glow. Alec had his head on Magnus’s chest and he drew lazy patterns on Magnus’s stomach, meanwhile Magnus played with Alec’s hair, combing his fingers through the soft strands. “We still need to talk… about everything.”

Magnus broke the silence. He heard Alec sigh. “I know. And we will. In the morning… but let me just tell you… I love you.” Alec replied. He turned his head and looked up at Magnus.  
Magnus smiled and leaned down to peck Alec. “I love you too.” He replied. Alec smiled and nuzzled into Magnus’s chest. The peacefulness of their little bubble made sleep come easy, and they both felt asleep. Happy and in each other’s arms in a long time. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was the sex cringy? Was it good? AAGGH!!   
> Please let me know in the comments. 
> 
> Ps. You guys are amazing your comments are amazing. 
> 
> Also   
> Sorry for any mistakes.


	9. Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I have been feeling super lazy these past few days, so sorry for the late update.

The soft rays of sun woke Magnus as they hit his face, gently. He squinted as he slowly opened his eyes, before all the memories of the previous day came rushing and he found himself smiling. They had changed positions during the night, so now they were in a spooning position, with Magnus’s back to Alec’s chest.

Alec had his arm thrown around Magnus’s waist, holding on tightly. Magnus grin grew, and he slowly turned around in Alec’s arms and stared at the sleeping Alec. Alec’s long eyelashes were gently kissing his cheeks, and Magnus could see his eyes move under his eyelids, as he dreamt. Magnus let out a sigh, before snuggling into Alec’s neck and kissing the skin softly.

Magnus knew they had to talk, they had to sort everything out. But he was glad that he finally told Alec everything. He felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulder, and he could finally breathe again. As Magnus pondered over his thoughts, Alec stirred and slowly blinked his eyes open. Alec tensed up, when he felt another body pressed against him, before he realised it was Magnus, and let his body relax. Alec gently stroked Magnus’s hair, causing Magnus to turn away, from where he had his head buried in Alec’s neck, and met Alec’s eyes. “Hey. Did I wake you?” Magnus whispered and Alec shook his head, slowly. “No.” Alec leaned forward and captured Magnus’s lips to which Magnus gladly kissed back.

They pulled apart, not really going far as their foreheads were pressed together. Alec looked into Magnus’s eyes and softly pushed away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of Magnus’s eyes. Magnus smiled softly. “Come on. Let’s make breakfast and talk about…” Alec trailed off and Magnus nodded. As much as he didn’t want to get out of bed, he knew they needed to talk, so Magnus got out of bed, Alec following suit and after putting on some clothes, they both walked into the kitchen.

Alec started to make the breakfast, whilst Magnus sat and watched, as he wasn’t good at cooking. Alec didn’t have a shirt on, so as he made the pancakes, with his back to Magnus, Magnus couldn’t help but stare at Alec’s back muscles and drool. “I can feel your eyes on me.” Alec pointed out, with out turning around. Magnus huffed. “I’m just admiring art.” He replied. Alec rolled his eyes, and brought the food over to the breakfast table.

They dug into their foods, silently and Magnus started to worry that Alec regretted everything. “I don’t regret anything.” Alec broke the silence. Magnus’s eyes widened in surprise. “How did you know I-“

“Because I know you.” Alec interrupted, and Magnus’s heart swelled. “Look. Mags. I love you. I have always loved you, even when I was supposed to hate you. And I will never stop loving you.” Alec carried on, and Magnus nodded and he pushed back his tears which threatened to fall. “But. I have a question.” Alec said. “Whilst you were with Scott… you were still in love with me?” Magnus nodded.

“Yes. I only went out with Scott to get over you. And soon after we became an on again off again couple. But going out with him… just didn’t work and I couldn’t get you out of my head. But every time I thought of telling you the reason, I thought of your mother and what she had on me.” Magnus looked down at his hands.

“My mother had nothing on you, as you didn’t kill Camille. Sure she has the video footage but that doesn’t show you killing Camille.” Alec pointed out, and Magnus bit his lip in hesitation before answering. “I was scared.” Magnus whispered out, so quiet that Alec had to lean forward to hear. “Scared of what?” Alec asked. And Magnus opened his mouth before closing it again.

“I… I was scared that… You would leave me. That you would hate me.” Magnus whispered out, sounding so small and vulnerable and Alec’s heart thudded. Alec got up from where he sat, opposite Magnus, and walked closer to Magnus. “Mags.” Alec called, asking him to look up as he still was looking down at his hands. “Hey, look at me.” Alec whispered and brought Magnus’s head up with his finger under Magnus’s chin. Magnus slowly met Alec’s eyes, and Alec gasped to see that Magnus had tears in his eyes. “I just… didn’t want you to see this terrible… ugly side of me, of my past.” Magnus sobbed. Alec clenched his jaw, and slowly brought his hand up so it rested on Magnus cheek. “Hey. There is nothing ugly about you.” Alec said firmly. “And I don’t think any less of you after what you have told me. Like I said before I could never hate you even when I was supposed to.” Magnus didn’t reply, and just brought Alec closer, until he had his face buried in Alec’s chest, with Alec’s arms around Magnus shoulders.

***

They decided, after breakfast, to go out for a walk like they used to do. So they walked hand it hand and in comfortable silence. “I want to explain to Camille’s parents.” Magnus blurted out, and Alec’s eyes widened. “What? Really? You sure?” Alec asked and Magnus nodded. “Yeah. I am tired of this ruining my life. I want to make up for it, the only way I can.” Magnus replied and Alec smiled, he squeezed Magnus’s hand. “But… Can you… come with me?” Magnus asked, and Alec nodded.

“Yes. I will be there for you.” Magnus thanked Alec, then led him to where Camille’s parents lived. He knocked on the door and Alec squeezed Magnus’s hand, showing his support silently. They waited for a few minutes before a woman came and opened the door. “Hello.” She greeted, her eyes flickering to Magnus, then to Alec. Magnus smiled. “Hi. Mrs Belcourt?” Magnus asked and the woman nodded.

“I… My name is Magnus Bane and…” Magnus broke off and looked at Alec who smiled and nodded at Magnus in encouragement. “I want to tell you what really happened to Camille when she died.” Magnus finished, looking back at Mrs Belcourt. The woman's friendly smile turned serious and she nodded and ushered them inside, they settled down in the living room and Magnus told them everything, not leaving anything out.

***

“How do you feel?” Alec asked. They were on their way from talking to Mrs Belcourt, and were headed home. Magnus beamed at Alec. “I feel… free.” He laughed and Alec joined him. They walked, with their shoulders brushing and their hands interlaced. “I’m glad.” Alec replied. They reached their apartment and walked up the stairs, all the while giggling and joking around. They reached their floor and saw the last person they expected to see.

Maryse.

Magnus froze mid sentence, as he saw her and Alec who was watching Magnus talk frowned at Magnus sudden behaviour change, until he followed his gaze and found his mother. “Alec! I’m glad your finally home. I have a suit here for you. For the charity event where you will be Sebastian’s date and-“ she stopped abruptly and her gaze wandered from her son to Magnus, to their linked hands and anger flared in her eyes. Alec was about to speak up and talk to her about what she has been up to as he hadn’t had a chance to talk to his mother about what she was doing to Magnus, as he wanted to be here with Magnus.

“Why are wasting your time with… _him_? I thought you two broke up.” She asked, her words laced with venom. Magnus tensed, but soon relaxed as he felt Alec’s thumb stroking the back of his hand, gently. “We did. But we are back together.” Alec replied calmly, smiling at Magnus. Magnus smiled back, but didn’t speak. He was glad that Alec was by his side.

“I see. So you didn’t hold up your side of our arrangement.” Maryse spoke to Magnus. “Did you think I was joking when I said I wouldn’t release that video? Do you think Alec will still want you after you tell him?” She asked. Magnus bit back a smile and looked at Alec. Alec wasn’t even trying to hide his smile. “Actually...

He has told me everything. About what happened with Camille, and Sebastian and how my own mother manipulated him into breaking up with me.” Alec spoke, and Maryse froze. Magnus smiled, as Alec’s words caught Maryse off guard. “And just so you know… I still love Magnus. Which means your plan failed.” Maryse looked back and forth between Alec and Magnus, before smirking. “Failed? I still have the video. I can release it and then everyone will know what really happened that night. Even poor Camille’s parents.” She smirked and both Alec and Magnus shook with laughter. Maryse’s smirk was short lived as she stared at the pair with confusion written all over her face. “Maryse. You can release that video. In fact I _want_ you to release it.” Magnus said. “And I am not worried about what Camille’s parents will say. They already know the truth. The real truth. I am done being scared.”

Both Alec and Magnus could practically see the steam coming out of Maryse’s ears as she glared at them and without having anything further to say, she walked away. “I’m sorry your relationship with your mother is ruined because of me.” Magnus said to Alec. And Alec shook his head. “No. It was already ruined. She never liked me, never loved me how a mother is supposed to love her son. Favoured my siblings over me. So you didn’t ruin anything. She ruined our relationship all by herself, years ago.” Alec replied and smiled before leaning in and kissing Magnus on the lips.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Magnus replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END IS NEAR.   
> HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT.


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because fluffy endings is my thing.

Alec slowly opened his eyes and nuzzled his head into Magnus’s collarbone, as he pulled Magnus’s arms tighter around himself. He sighed at the warm embrace and smiled. Things slowly went back to normal. Magnus and Alec’s relationship was like how it used to be. They had been officially dating again for two months before Magnus asked Alec to move into his room, and Alec agreed. He slept everyday there anyway.

Alec turned his head and looked at Magnus’s sleeping figure and couldn’t help but admire his boyfriend’s long eyelashes and soft plump lips, parted as Magnus breathed in and out. “I can feel you staring at me.” Magnus muttered, keeping his eyes closed. Alec giggled and nuzzled closer into Magnus’s side. “I’m not staring. I’m gazing.” Alec corrected.   
“It’s creepy.” Magnus replied, and Alec’s smile grew.   
“It’s romantic.” Alec said and bit playfully into Magnus’s Adam’s apple. Magnus opened his eyes and looked down at Alec and without any warning, he flipped them over so now Magnus lay on top of Alec. Alec let out a whoosh noise as the sudden movement knocked the breath out of him. Meanwhile Magnus just laughed. Alec rolled his eyes. “It’s good to know you find me nearly dying funny.” Alec said with a grumpy pout. Magnus just laughed harder.   
“Nearly dying? Pfft. Don’t be over dramatic.” Magnus replied. He reached forward and brushed Alec’s soft strands of hair away from Alec’s eyes. Alec kept his pouty face and soon enough Magnus leaned forward and nuzzled his nose with Alec’s. “Fineee.” He whined. “I’m sorry.”   
Alec smiled, and pulled Magnus down for a kiss. “Your forgiven.” He said in between kisses. Magnus chuckled and kissed Alec back. Just as their kiss started to get heated, Alec’s phone buzzed with a message. Magnus groaned and rolled off Alec and grabbed his boyfriend’s phone.

**Double date tonight? – Josh**

“Josh is asking if you want to go on a double date.” Magnus said after reading the message. Alec sat up and looked at the screen. “Yeah. If you want to?” Alec said and Magnus nodded. Over the couple of months, Josh had become a good friend to both Magnus and Alec, and recently he had met a guy who he couldn’t stop talking about. Alec was happy for him. He deserved happiness. “I want to meet his boyfriend and see if he is good to him.” Alec said and Magnus rolled his eyes playfully and typed out a reply. After doing so, Magnus threw the phone onto the bed and straddled Alec’s lap, putting his arms around Alec’s neck. Alec leaned his back against the headboard and put his arms around Magnus’s waist, gently stroking Magnus’s shirtless back with his thumbs. “I love you.” Magnus murmured. Alec smiled and leaned forward giving a soft peck on Magnus’s lips, before moving onto his nose, cheeks, forehead, then to his right ear, where he nibbled on Magnus’s ear lobe gently making Magnus giggle and squirm, claiming that it tickled. “I love you too.” Alec finally replied in a seductive whisper, causing a shiver to run down Magnus’s spine.

Magnus pulled Alec’s hair, making Alec bring his face back so Magnus could kiss him, and as soon as their tongues interlaced they both moaned at the taste of the other. They kept kissing, until Alec’s stomach growled in hunger making Magnus erupt with laughter. Alec looked down at his stomach in utter betrayal, then back at Magnus, his face completely red as he blushed in embarrassment. “Come on. Let’s make breakfast.” Magnus said and got out of bed, with Alec following closely behind.

***

After having breakfast, Alec had to work on his book, so he settled down on the sofa with his legs on Magnus’s lap as Magnus read one of his fashion magazines. They stayed in that position for quiet some time, and every now and then, Alec would feel soft patterns being drawn into his leg which soothed Alec into completely relaxing. Being in Magnus’s company was so effortless and ataractic.

They were pulled out of their bubble when Alec’s phone buzzed with a message. He put his laptop on the coffee table and looked at his phone. It was a message from Izzy.

**Arrived in Paris. – Izzy.**

Alec smiled down at his phone. He had asked Izzy to text him and let him know when her plane landed. But as Alec looked at the picture attached, of Izzy and Jace and Max all grinning into the camera, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of hurt that his parents had gotten all their kids something _except_ Alec. At the time, he had thought of his mother’s excuse about Alec’s work to be agreeable. His mother was right, he had his deadlines coming up for his book. But, after finding out about what his mother did to Magnus, he realised the real reason behind his mother’s doings.

Magnus noticed Alec’s mood change and shifted underneath Alec’s legs and pulling him out of his thoughts. “Alexander?” Magnus called and Alec looked away from the phone and at Magnus. He smiled weakly but Magnus knew if well enough to know that his smile was fake. “What’s wrong?” He asked. Alec blinked back his tears, which didn’t really help as they fell anyway and Magnus moved closer and put his arms around Alec.

Alec let his head fall onto Magnus’s shoulder and he nuzzled into Magnus’s neck, breathing heavily. “Hey. Tell me, what’s wrong.” Magnus whispered softly. Alec inhaled before moving away from Magnus’s neck so Magnus could see his face. “A few months ago, my parents got Izzy, Jace and Max tickets to go to Paris. They didn’t get a ticket for me. When Izzy asked my mother why she didn’t, my mother just said it was because I had deadlines I needed to meet in order for my books to publish, and at the time I agreed. I _did_ … _do_ have deadlines to meet. But…” Alec trailed off and Magnus took his hand and squeezed it gently in encouragement. Alec saw nothing but love and understanding in Magnus’s eyes. “But now? I know she was just doing that to separate me and my siblings. Ever since I came out to them she has always treated me differently. And at first I didn’t even realise. Or I didn’t want to. On my birthday she would cancel dinner plans, but on Jace or Izzy’s she would plan the whole thing herself. As a teenager, when ever I went out and asked for money, she would tell me to ask my dad, but then I would see her giving money to my siblings. When we had parties, she would always introduce me last to her friends, and she would say it in a dismissive manner. As I grew up, I didn’t realise all this until…”

“Until you found out what she was doing to me.” Magnus finished and Alec merely nodded. “It’s like she doesn’t see you as her son anymore but as someone who just _hangs_ around Izzy, Jace and Max and _happens_ to share last names.” Magnus continued and Alec nodded again, relieved that Magnus understood. Magnus smiled sadly. “Alexander, I know what it’s like when parents neglect their child, that feeling of self doubt and asking yourself ‘what did I do wrong?’ But darling, let me tell you this. There is nothing wrong with you. Your mother’s choices and actions are on her. I get how every child wants to please their parents, to make sure they are not disappointed, but in your situation your mother is who disappointed _you_. It’s on her.” Magnus pulled Alec into a hug again, and they stayed like that in each others embrace.

***

It was in the evening when they both arrived at the restaurant that Josh had picked out. Alec spotted Josh and made his way towards him, whilst pulling Magnus along with their joint hands. Alec had never met Josh’s boyfriend before, so he was excited to meet the mysterious guy that Josh couldn’t shut up about. After Josh and Alec’s breakup, they became really close and decided being friends was much better than dating. Over the two months Josh and quickly become one of Alec’s best friends.

He reached the booth and as soon as Josh saw Alec and Magnus approaching he stood up and embraced them both in a hug. “Guys this is my boyfriend, Justin. Justin this is Alec and his boyfriend Magnus.” Josh introduced them and after shaking hands, they all sat down and ordered.

“So, Justin what do you do.” Magnus asked. Alec had an arm over Magnus’s shoulders, and Magnus leaned into Alec’s chest. It was intimate and causal. “I work in computer engineering.” Justin replied and Magnus and Alec nodded, impressed. “And how did you meet Josh.” Alec spoke up. He had heard this story from Josh but he asked anyway. Josh rolled his eyes but Justin just smiled and told him how he was at the park with his niece and Josh was with his smallest sister. They started talking as the kids played, and Justin asked him out. “Ah, so children brought you two together. Well that’s a sign, that you two should hurry up and have children already.” Magnus blurted out and Josh who was in the middle of sipping his drink, choked and started to cough violently, whilst Alec only laughed as he was used to his boyfriend having no filter.

Justin just blushed and started patting Josh on his back. After Josh had recovered he fixed an icy glare at Magnus who only grinned in response.   
Their dinner went smoothly and Alec decided he liked Justin. He was good for Josh, but that didn’t stop him from giving him the ‘hurt him and I hurt you’ talk, to which both Magnus and Josh rolled their eyes.   
After dinner, both couples separated and said their goodbyes before walking in different directions. Alec had his arms around Magnus’s shoulders whilst Magnus’s arm was around Alec’s waist and under his jacket. They slowly walked back to their apartment, talking about anything and everything on their way.

**THREE YEARS LATER**

“I’m home!” Yelled Magnus, as he entered the apartment which seemed empty. “Alec?” Magnus walked in further into the apartment in search for his boyfriend. Said boyfriend stood at their balcony with his back to Magnus. “Alexander?” Magnus called and Alec slowly turned around. He smiled at Magnus and Magnus walked towards him and smiled back.

“Magnus. I love you.” Alec whispered.

“I love you too,” Magnus replied.   
Alec smiled. “I’ve been so nervous about asking you this, and I had a speech all planned out but… as soon as I saw you I forgot everything and I just…” Alec trailed off and Magnus stared at him feeling very confused. “What are you talking about?” He asked, and Alec sighed.   
“It’s just easier if I show you.” Alec whispered and got down on one knee and pulled out a small velvet box and opened it, revealing a beautiful ring inside. Magnus gasped and his hands flew to his face, his eyes wide with shock. “Magnus Bane, will you do me the honour of m-“   
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Magnus interrupted, jumping into Alec’s arms and hugging him tightly. Alec chuckled and kissed Magnus, who gladly kissed him back. They kissed with their hearts on their sleeves until the need to breathe became urgent. Alec rested his forehead against Magnus’s, and their heavy breaths mingled, before Alec took the ring out of the box and slid it onto Magnus’s finger. Magnus watched As the ring shimmered and he grinned, looking back into Alec’s eyes. “You are mine as I am yours.” Alec whispered out. Magnus grin grew wider, until his cheeks started to hurt but Magnus couldn’t care less. “Always.” He replied before engulfing Alec’s lips in between his own.

The past few years had taught them a lot of things. It had taught them that they were human. Which meant that mistakes were inevitable, which was okay. No one was perfect, no one _needed_ to be perfect. Because perfect was overrated. They learnt to trust and to move forward and to forgive. They learnt that the past is in the past and letting things go is a healthy way of living life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! Hope y'all liked it. 
> 
> Be sure to keep your eyes open for more stories coming in the future as I am currently writing a couple. 
> 
> Going to try writing an Alpha/beta/omega dynamics Malec   
> Fic. 
> 
> You guys have been amazing!! Loved reading ALL your comments. They have helped me so much.


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